For somewhere

[rejoicify]

Aaaaaah.....

Aa....aa-aa-aa-aa-aaaaaaa--aaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaa-aaaaa.....

Aaaaaaaa....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ~LAAAAAAAAAAA~

[A glass-shattering, though perfectly pitched note assails the eardrums of all within range as a large... mechanical sphere of some sort carrying a lovely fairy princess descends from the skies. For some reason, it's spewing bubbles in every direction.]

My dear friends!

Don't be afraid! I come with tidings of gladness and good news! Your time of suffering is over! Gone with! Totally and completely... completified!

Now, I know coming to this... horrid place must come as a real shock to some of you, but don't you worry about a thing. Glinda the Good's here now, and she's going to make things all better for you poor deprived, ah, let's just say non-Oz-folk. Really, this world has no sense of fashion, you poor things. Now. Let's see what we can do here now that I've descended from the skies to grace you with my lovely presence.

[A pause.]

....I said, now that I've descended from the heavens to grace you with my lovely presence.

[The sphere abruptly plummets ten feet closer to the earth.]

Oh; dear Oz.  Ahem. That's better. Let's have a closer look... Ah, yes, I can see it on your faces perfectly. It's good to see me, isn't it? I know, I know, it's been a rough time, but those days are behind you now.  I promise.  For you see...

[A swish of the wand as she twirls about and clears her throat.]

As long as you... belieeeeeeeeeeve~
There's no telling what you caaaaan achiiiiiiiiieve
Grasp your wildest hopes and dreams, im-
possibly as it seems, sim-
ply wish upon a star and then you'll seeeeeeeeee
Our dreams can beeeeeeeee
A re-a-li-tyyyyyyyyy
For you and.......

~MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~

Comments

[gimmegimme]

[Your audience contains a plump young lady who had been munching away at a large bag of Doritos, Glinda. She's just sort of staring, now, orange-stained fingers hovering a short distance from the mouth of the bag, unsure if this is something that ought to be fled from.]

...now, now wait just a...

[Oh, oh, here comes the high note! And she's wincing and cringing and making horrible faces. This is some sort of new torture that the keepers have devised, isn't it?]

[rejoicify]

[Somewhere, puppies are writhing around in pain as Glinda reaches a pitch previously unknown to man. This is followed by a lot of coughing as she steps out of the bubble onto solid ground and smooths out her dress.]

Yes, that's right. Believe in your dreams and they can all come true. Every last one. With hard work, determination and, well.

[Glinda taps her own tiara with her wand.]

A little help from me, of course. Now! What can I do for you, little -- oh. Hm.

[She frowns at Kara's grotesque faces.]

Not to worry, you're beautiful the, ah, way you are.

[gimmegimme]

[When the high-pitched warbling stops, Kara's face becomes much less scrunchy and somewhat more attractive... if you disregard the Dorito orange on her lips.]

You know, you remind me of someone.

[And now Kara feels like the grubby second-fiddle she was before she staged a social coup and ousted the Spring Queen. She's not liking this feeling. But Doritos help damp that feeling down a bit. She plucks another one from the bag, pops it in her mouth, then licks her fingers.]

You sound a lot more helpful than her, though. You gonna magic us all out of here?

[rejoicify]

[Glinda beams beatifically.]

Of course not!

Why, if it was as easy as all that, you wouldn't learn to do anything on your own. You'd just be calling for me all the time and goodness knows I can't be rescuing everyone constantly; I'd hardly have time to breathe.

[The Wizard has prepped her well.]

But I can provide the supportitude and encouragement to raise your spirits. So that you can walk out of here on your own, head raised high!

[gimmegimme]

Ohh.

[Diplomacy dictated that she put away the snacks for later. Rather reluctantly, Kara rolls up the top of the chip bag and stuffs it away.]

So you're Spring, are you? Supporting and encouraging and... all that, right?

[It all makes sense in her own context.]

[rejoicify]

[And looking beautiful. Glinda slowly revolves in place to allow the grubby girl to appreciate the full splendor of her outfit.]

That's very poetic, my dear. Honestly, though, I'm more of a summer; you wouldn't believe how misinformed people can be about this kind of thing.

Let's do this right

[arche]

Nice bubble.

[rejoicify]

Isn't it, though? State of the art sorcery, courtesy of the, ah, Wonderful Wizard himself.

[angrytadpole]

[This, Glinda, is a rather unimpressed squire. The way he speaks and carries himself probably gives away the fact that he thinks pretty highly of himself--he's got that whole haughty noble thing going on.

...And for some reason, there's a frog sitting on his head.]

What in the world is...all of this?

[rejoicify]

Oh, not at all, it's entirely out of this world. Heavens, you don't think I come from a dumpy place like this, do you?

[angrytadpole]

That's...not the point. You have a wand and you're...flying about.

[rejoicify]

It is splendid, isn't it?

I am Glinda. Glinda, the Good Witch of the North.

[She gives a small giggle as if she's still not accustomed to hearing those words.]

Oh -- the 'ga' is silent. Very important.

[angrytadpole]

[Still not amused. In fact, he'll shoot her a glare as soon as he hears the word "witch."]

There is nothing splendid about witchcraft. You say you're a "good" witch?

There is no such thing. Witchcraft is unholy.

[rejoicify]

Unholy?

[Glinda raises an eyebrow.]

The only thing unholy here is that awful stringy hair.

I mean, well, I'm afraid I can't revealify my secret spellitudes, but I do absolutely assure you that my sole purpose here is to ease your life however I can. That's all I've ever wanted.

[angrytadpole]

...There's nothing wrong with my hair!

[Grabbing at it defensively. You struck a nerve...]

And that's preposterous! What kind of witch goes around helping people?! If anyone's going to do that it'll be a knight. Witchcraft is a blatant disregard of God's will.

[rejoicify]

There won't be after I'm done here~

[Glinda twirls about in place, making sure to flip her cascading waves of lovely curls.]

You're a Unionist, then? How quaint! I... haven't read your texts, but the Munchkins are all very fond of me. Are you sure you've been reading the right books?

[angrytadpole]

...What are you planning, witch?!

[As much as Darren wants to keep up a "big strong future knight that isn't afraid of anything" act, he takes that as some sort of threat and immediately shifts to a defensive stance, grabbing the frog off of his head so he can protectively hold it to his chest.

Frog doesn't seem to have much of a problem with this, but it looks just as scared as Darren.]

Unionist? What are you going on about now?

[rejoicify]

Don't you believe in the Unnamed God? I am named after one of his saints, you know.

[Glinda frowns as he snatches the frog off his head to protect himself.]

...By the by, is that a frog or a Frog?

[angrytadpole]

I am a Catholic. I believe in the Christian God and no other.

[Darren glances down at the frog in confusion, then back up to Glinda.]

This would be my father.

[rejoicify]

[Glinda levels a blank stare at the boy for multiple reasons.]

...Wait here a clock tick.

[Glinda smiles blandly before rushing over to step behind her bubble. Part of her is visible through the holes; she appears to be shaking herself vigorously as if to limber up and fluffing her hair and dress extravagantly.

She returns in short order and claps her hands together twice.]

Right. You've clearly got a lot of issues; come on, let's get cracking. Do you want to cover the imaginary god or your delusions about this poor animal first?

[angrytadpole]

How dare you!

[Arguing about religion is probably not even worth it at this point, but you m'am, are going to burn some day, just you wait and see.]

I am not delusional. You're a witch, shouldn't you recognize the work of one of your ilk? The witch that terrorizes my home did this to him.

[rejoicify]

What? No.

[Glinda kneels and squints at the frog with a suspicious eye.]

...Really?

Alright, croak once for 'yes' and twice for 'no'. Is this poor little boy completely out of his mind?

[angrytadpole]

[He immediately pulls Frogdad further away from her when she kneels down. He doesn't trust you.

But Frogdad does croak once!]

...Usually he can speak, but he seems to have lost his voice. [Darren doesn't seem too broken up about that bit.] Sorry for jerking you around so much, Dad.

[rejoicify]

Hm.

He says you're completely barmy, you know. You're sure you don't want to work through some of your issues with me? Of course, it's all the same to me, but it might really do you some good.

And that's what I'm here for. Making good.

[angrytadpole]

What?! No! He's just being a jerk! Being turned into a frog makes you cranky, you know!

[Pause. Darren shoots "his father" an apologetic look.]

This is my father! Can't you use your magic to figure that much out?! I don't know much about how that stuff works--I'm an honorable man, after all--but if you're so good, then you should be able to turn him back, shouldn't you?!

[rejoicify]

Of course, I could...

[If she had learned only one thing from Elphaba about magic...]

But you see, a spell can't be reversed. You can only find a different spell to get something... similar out of it. ...I could make him human-colored if you'd like; it'd be almost the same.

[No she couldn't but she was banking he wouldn't want her to.]

[angrytadpole]

What do you mean it can't be reversed?! That's not what the she-devil that did this in the first place said!

[But he could believe it...]

[rejoicify]

Oh, now you mustn't let this bring you down!

[Glinda waves her wand encouragingly.]

Just take a look on the bright side! Why, you can stay up as late as you want now! And... have all the desserts you could possibly ingesticate! It's really a blessing in disguise.

[justaplumber]

...eh?

[ Just because he's seen some strange things in his life doesn't mean he can't be perplexed by a singing lady in a frilly dress descending from the skies in a bubble.

...okay Birdo did that once but. Birdo. ]

[rejoicify]

[Glinda keeps her radiant smile intact as the bubble lowers enough to allow her to gracefully step on the ground. She beams beatifically at everyone within sight, tossing her hair back a bit as she does so.]

Now. What can Glinda the Good do for all of you wonderful folks today? Go on, don't be shy!

[justaplumber]

...

Are you a witch?

[rejoicify]

[Another twirl in place as Glinda daintily displays her beautiful gown.]

I am Glinda, the Good Witch of the South.

...North.

Wait. No. ...Which one was it again? ...Oh, I'm just so bad with directions.

[tmiwitchery]

Know my words have lots of weight; that noise I sure do hate!

Your singing is loud, your notes are off key, it's giving my butt some mighty acne.

Cease this at once, you prim prissy missus, or you can certainly expect more of Grunty's hisses!

[A stereotypical witch, by all means, has dropped in from the air with her broomstick in hand. Before long, she's already ranting at the good witch. More of this to come.]

[rejoicify]

Dear Oz!

Oh! Oh no! Elphie?! Oh, how terrible! What have you done to yourself?! I thought I told you, never wear purple, it brings out all of these terrible sallow hues of your skin and you know what I said about foundation!

[Glinda leans out as far as she can from her bubble and squints at the witch.]

...Wait. Wait wait wait. That's a lime-green with hints of dusty chartreuse, not a forest-green.

You really shouldn't wear costumes like that, you know. It's just not nice.

[tmiwitchery]

Poo on you. "Not nice" is what I do!

Gruntilda the Witch is the name. Elphie? Don't know the dame.

Now because I'm so very not nice, and you'll see why, wave that bubble, a nice bye-bye!

[Raising her broomstick arm into the air, Grunty leaps and comes down at the bubble. Popping it is bound to get on Glinda's nerves. Revenge successful.]

[rejoicify]

Oh! You stay back!

[Glinda holds her wand like a sparring staff as Gruntilda comes down, though the bubble proves to be surprisingly resilient! ........Probably because it is mostly mechanical in nature. She sways a little in her seat as she clings to the side for support.]

What do you think you're doing?! You nasty thing; are you trying to ruin everything?!

[tmiwitchery]

Sounds like a plan! Haven't ruined much in this time span.

[Gruntilda stops to stroke her chin as fiendish and dastardly thoughts stream through her head.]

[rejoicify]

Well. I've got a better plan.

[Gruntilda is suddenly assaulted by an endless stream of bubbles as Glinda rapidly descends further towards the ground. Not that this is particularly deterring.]

If you'll excuse me, I've got an audience to charmivate.

[shoesfitperfectly]

Right. The Doctor hasn't heard that kind of warbling since, well, since he attended the premiere of Die Zauberflöte, and that's saying something. He squints up at the diminutive woman in the massive dress and the impressive mechanical bubble and can't help but smile.

"An impressive performance. Where did you learn to sing like that?"

[rejoicify]

"Oh, how kind of you. Just in school, you know, we got rather a lot of practice."

Glinda declines to elaborate as she slowly descends to earth and steps out from the bubble smoothing out her gown as she does so.

[shoesfitperfectly]

"Ah. Schools are like that, sometimes." Her answer seems to have been a good enough one for the Doctor, anyway, as his brain is already going a mile a minute in seventeen different directions. He wonders for a moment if he's seen her before... you know, she bears a striking resemblance to... oh, well, never mind, let's have a look at this, and he murmurs a quick "Pardon me," as he steps past her to get a closer look at the sphere. If it's still emitting bubbles they'll quickly end up adorning his hair.

"This workmanship, it almost looks Gallifreyan... bit of a Dronian influence... touch of Venice, 1765..." He'll blither like that for a while if you don't say something.

[rejoicify]

"Oh, you really shouldn't -- please don't touch that, it's very -- now, mind the phalanges!"

Glinda prods at the Doctor with her wand with a disgruntled expression.

"If you have any questions about my magnificent sorcery, do ask before you touch."

[shoesfitperfectly]

This does make him pause and stop poking the sphere. "Sorcery? ... Yes, I suppose so, if you like." He even takes a step back from it. Well, he'd be the same way about people poking his TARDIS, so it's only fair.

"How did you come across it?" He asks, hands in his pockets, now.

[rejoicify]

"I... created it." She sniffs as she bustles forward to step between the impertinent man and her bubble which was hers only under a very loose definition of 'hers'. "Magnificent sorcery and all of that. Trade secrets, can't reveal a thing."