writing app for marinanova @ IJ

[ursalguard]

So I'm pretty sure I just woke up in some crazy-ass interdimensional hydroprison.

[ click! the video feed comes on to... some dude in totally radical red pajamas. that shit's got a hood and everything (even if it's down). he clears his throat and keeps on talking. ]

And I mean, okay. Like, hey, no big, right? Shit happens. People grow up, and relationships end, and sometimes you get ripped through the fabric of time and space itself. You've just got to accept that and move on. That's life, man. That's what it means to be an adult. We got coming of age all up in this bitch, bildungsroman out the ass...

[ he trails off. after a moment, he puts his head in his hands and sighs. ]

Ok, so I've got no idea where the fuck that was going. Just... going to skip to the point now. Laying down the thesis sentence, so ya'll better get out your highlighters and underline this shit-

[ he cuts himself off again, clears his throat, and finishes. ]

Real talk: where is the nearest coffee machine.

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[flirtini]

[ Sunglasses wearing teen. Sounds familiar. He's also all sorts of adorable and babble-y. ]

How do you take your coffee? 'Cause if you take it sweet, I'll lend you some sugar.

[fracturedsoul]

[ This response takes a while because Dirk is just staring. God dammit, wardens. You had one job. ]

Nearest to where?

[ursalguard]

[ oh. uh. wow. that sure is... rose's mom, except not. you know. he's seen her a few times, what with the dreaming and floating around and shit, but this is something else altogether.

well, not like it's a problem. all he has to do is get out of here without accidentally going full oedipus and- ]

Double-espresso white chocolate mocha, two shots of hazelnut. Soy.

[ why ]

Think you've got enough to handle that order, Miss Barista?

[ why ]

[ursalguard]

[ yeah, dave's just going to. stare back. for a bit.

and then he opens his mouth and ruins it all. ]

Uh. Ocean Alcatraz, I guess.

[ what the fuck do you say here. ]

[fracturedsoul]

Yeah, I figured? But what sector?

[ Thiiiis is awkward. ]

[ursalguard]

Oh.

[ he doesn't know what sector he's in.

his kind-of-bro's asking him this question, and he doesn't know what sector he's in.

thankfully, he's got a pokerface of steel. so he just- ]

Man, I don't know. I just got here. Sector 1 or 0 or A or something, probably.

[fracturedsoul]

Press the button on the side of your headset until the map comes up.

[ursalguard]

...looks like Sector 1.

[fracturedsoul]

Ok. If you want something fresh there's this coffee place in Sector 4, Bean Crushers. In Sector 1 there's a convenience store that probably has cans, though.

[ursalguard]

Shit, canned coffee? Guess I know where I'm headed.

[ ...there is no way this isn't going to be awkward, is there. ]

So, uh. Sup.

[fracturedsoul]

[ Nope. It's going to be so awkward. ]

The ocean. [ ha ha ha that was lame ] No, uh, I'm good. Sup with you?

[ursalguard]

[ what does that even mean. is that ironic? it's got to be an ironic joke of some sort. maybe it's some sort of obscure reference, couched in a level of ironic distaste, and that in turn is passed off as an awkward joke about the prison which just adds a whole new level to it-

dave briefly considers bleating, but thinks better of it. he'd probably just get smacked with a puppet or some shit anyway. ]

You know. Waking up in shackles. Trying to get some coffee. Pretty much your average Saturday.

[fracturedsoul]

[ Average Satur-- oh wait it's a joke.

man what does Dirk even do here ]

Yeah, sounds pretty typical. [ That was lame. You're lame, Dirk. Man he probably doesn't even want to talk to you when his actual bro is here. what are you doing, dirk ]

[flirtini]

[ She laughs. ]

Douple espresso, two shots of hazelnut. Soy. But baby boy, we're all out of white chocolate. I'd offer to replace it with vanilla, but I'm thinkin' you're more likely to enjoy a ride on the wild side. How's a dark chocolate mocha sound?