ursalguard: (n || can't read my can't read my)
[personal profile] ursalguard
So I'm pretty sure I just woke up in some crazy-ass interdimensional hydroprison.

[ click! the video feed comes on to... some dude in totally radical red pajamas. that shit's got a hood and everything (even if it's down). he clears his throat and keeps on talking. ]

And I mean, okay. Like, hey, no big, right? Shit happens. People grow up, and relationships end, and sometimes you get ripped through the fabric of time and space itself. You've just got to accept that and move on. That's life, man. That's what it means to be an adult. We got coming of age all up in this bitch, bildungsroman out the ass...

[ he trails off. after a moment, he puts his head in his hands and sighs. ]

Ok, so I've got no idea where the fuck that was going. Just... going to skip to the point now. Laying down the thesis sentence, so ya'll better get out your highlighters and underline this shit-

[ he cuts himself off again, clears his throat, and finishes. ]

Real talk: where is the nearest coffee machine.
wweh: (Default)
[personal profile] wweh
[A. The Cafeteria.]

[Eridan's, of course, making a scene on his first day here. This plain oatmeal is garbage and his tastes are far, far above this pathetic display of food. You can't just give him plain food. He won't allow that.]

You fuckin' call this food? More like a fuckin' culinary disaster if you're askin' me.
I deserve way fuckin' more than a bowl a' plain oatmeal.

[B. Floor 10]

[No doubt about it, this is Eridan's favorite place to be in the tower. He's not one to show fear swimming in the water, and it's never a bad thing to keep his lusus-killing skills sharp... even though nothing in the water could be considered as such and most of the things in the water are much more frightening. As soon as something really big catches glimpse of him, he absconds the fuck out of the water. Feel free to laugh at his cowardice.]

[C. The Network]

so wwhy the fuck arent we givven the convvienece a havvin our owwn husktops or any sort a' computer.
its fuckin stupid not havvin any reliable wway a communicatin' wwith people. Howw am I supposed to be makin' plans an' at least tryin' to get my quadrants all in order wwithout that?
0k_with_it: (y0 quier0 d0s tac0s)
[personal profile] 0k_with_it

[5-sweep-old Aradia is aong with you on this adventure into the wastes! She seems to know her way around an adventure pretty well, in a miniature alien Indiana Jones sort of way.]

[Upon exploration of the monster-lousy ruins, Aradia stops to examine some sort of abandoned artifact. It appears to be... a toaster?]

I've seen one of these before! I remember it from one of my own expeditions, back home.

I think ancient civilizations used these as... some sort of food receptacle?


[Just remember something rough? Specifically, about somebody's death? Aradia seems pretty easy to confide in, in a friendly sort of way. She's a good listener, at least, but, well...]

this just gave me a great idea
we sh0uld have a human c0rpse party t0 cheer you up!
i f0rget what theyre called, maybe y0u can help me 0ut
when s0me0ne dies, and all the surviving pe0ple wh0 knew them get t0gether
and have a party...
d0 y0u kn0w what i mean?
i read ab0ut them a while back and this seems like a g00d 0pp0rtunity t0 try it 0ut!
what d0 y0u think?


[Need a hand with... basically anything? Manual labor? Someone to confide in? A test subject for violent explosion techniques? Robo-Aradia may be a good person to ask!]

What do you need?

Not that it matters. Everything I do here is pointless, so I don't see how this will change things.

I'm OK with it, though.


i think
i will st0p c0llecting anem0i
i c0uld pretend that remembering the past w0uld s0meh0w alter the inevitable events 0f the future
but really i mean
the past cann0t be und0ne
the future cann0t be altered
whats the p0int


[Minding your own business? Good! You are now suddenly being visited out of nowhere by a troll wearing ridiculous magical girl butterfly pajamas.]


Is this a good time?


exciting news, everyone!
you know how there are a few trolls around here, and they can seem kind of
weird and lame?
well, i was remembering some of our old adventures together
and it seemed pretty cool and dramatic at the time, buuuuuuuut
in hindsight we were a bunch of weirdos pretty much from day one.
myself included! i'm not just name calling, its true.
funny how much responsibility a group of random kids can end up with.
anyway thats it! thanks for reading even though it was pointless.
scourgeofthe8seas: (Fluorite Octet)
[personal profile] scourgeofthe8seas

[A pleasant ocean cruise! What better way to spend your evening, or week, or however long you're out here for whatever reason. Or it would be better, if it weren't for that pesky little detail called piracy.]

[Emerging from the fog is a daunting battleship, jet black and bristling with cannons, flying a flag depicting a skull with eight legs extending from it. The first volley of fire is almost immediate, and as soon as they're close enough, ramps are lowered, and a host of horned warriors storm the ship. Total chaos reigns as the lovely yet terrible Captain Mindfang calmly crosses between the two ships.]

[You are being boarded. What will you do?]


[Congratulations! You have succeeded in what many claimed was impossible, and finally captured the dreaded Mindfang. She's tied up and separated from her crew, totally at your mercy. So why is she grinning?]

You've done a great job with this escapade of yours. Not many can claim to have captured me. Your ferocity and cunning impress me, which is why I'm offering you one chance.

Untie me yourself and let me go free, and I'll consider sparing your life. I'd consider it, if I were you; I do take prisoners, but not for very long.


[Some time back, possibly months or even years, something else unthinkable happened: Mindfang came to your aid, without provocation, at a time when you were in a serious bind. She then vanished from your life completely... until today.]

[No, she didn't say she was coming. No, she didn't knock. No, it's not even entirely clear how she got into your home. And yet here she is, bottle in hand, looking you in the eye as you come home.]

Been a while, hasn't it?

I'm calling in on that favor you owe me.