streamedastar: <user name="yumis-icons" site=""> (Jammin)
[personal profile] streamedastar
[Ryuichi is currently going around base asking if he could help anybody, unfortunately it seems they've all shooed him away for one reason or another and he has tasked himself to sitting, dejected, in a corner, listening to his i-pod/i-pod equivalent]

[You may interrupt him, actually he would probably prefer it id you interrupted him]


[Battle Scenario! It seems the forces working against Romana have seen fit to just dump their resources into buying a bunch of worthless MP models and zerg rushing. About to be dog piled by Gespensts and the like, or at least it appears that way to Ryuichi, causes the blue dude in his dragonoid robot to jump in front and take the blunt of the attack instead]

H-hey, you're okay right?
Sorry if I'm interrupting...well not really "sorry" but-

[Whatever he was about to say is interrupted via punch to the face of his unit. He definitely bit off more than he could chew. Typical.]


[After the battle of trying to throw himself in front of his allies, despite not being built like a brick wall, Ryuichi stumbles back into the hanger, bruised up and bleeding.] kinda...deja vu...

[Aaaaand he falls over. He's not quite unconscious since he's sneering about this mess he's become, and he's regenerating sort of but it's not fast enough that it's a good idea to leave him laying there]


There, see, I told you the problem.
You should have listened to me earlier.

[Ryuichi is currently sitting at a chair and just finished cleaning up someone's computer. It could be yours or you're catching him working on someone else's.
4b- he's helping out at the clinic and someone's really messed up: again you or seeing him with someone else.]

[[ooc: Forgive me deleting and then making a new post for him, after some touch ups I think I have what I really want.]]
runners_low: (I don't like what I'm seeing)
[personal profile] runners_low

[There's a mission soon. Felicita volunteered to sortie, but the request was rejected. The reason - who knows? Maybe she's sick or wounded. Maybe her unit is damaged. Or maybe the side-effects of combat drugs are increasing and it was decided she should take it easy for a while - or forever.

Either way you are the one to deliver the news to the bed-bound girl, and she does not look happy about.]

No. No, no no no. You must reconsider, please.
I must pilot.


[Whatever you're doing, you are being followed by a small levitating robot. Maybe you know it belongs to a certain ill girl, maybe you don't. Either way, it's not going away soon, taking it your actions and movements with curiosity. What do?]


[Combat prompt! The situation was looking really bad there, but Felicita ran in with a defensive support - and her agile mobile suit Deva tackled an enemy out of the way, an enemy that would deal you some serious damage otherwise.]

Don't worry. I'm here now, I'll beat them all up.

[Regardless, you are still outnumbered. Considering what you know of Deva's capabilities, Felicita can NOT take all the bad guys just by herself.]


[And... she screwed up. It's not necessarily related to prompt #3, but whatever Felicita was trying to do, she failed. And there are consequences. Maybe a mission failed or an important target fled. Or maybe even innocent people got killed.]

I'm sorry...

I didn't mean to. I... tried my best. Just please...

[Either way she fully realizes it, considering she's on the verge of tears now.]
armored_mother: (*wink*)
[personal profile] armored_mother

[Another day on the Chalice and another arrival. You can see a Britannian Transport dropping off several suits of powered armor along with some tough looking people that were clearly their operators.]

Alright boys and girls! Hustle up! We're here to get some work done so you better be on your best behavior or I'll put you on your rears! Got it?

[There were grins and laughs all around, but none of them showed any disrespect, it was more of an ease of familiarity with the brash woman. She turns to see you looking at them, she grins and walks over.]

You could always take a picture you know. It'll last longer.

[She's certainly... bigger... up close.]

Major Cora Anderson. The boys call me Ursa.

[There's a hand offered to you to shake.]


[Cora's at the mess hall, reading a letter while sipping some tea. Yes. A tough woman like her is fond of her Tea. She's Britannian, what do you expect?]

Oi, think I got some left to share. You up for a little?

[She's offering you a drink, raising a battered tin mug at your direction and then motioning to the seat opposite her.]


[The battle seems to have come inside the Chalice! Corridors have become firing lanes and enemy troops are rushing throughout!]

Keep your heads down!

[There's a mechanical whirr as a large armored figure unleashes a literal hailstorm of metal down corridor.]

You holding up alright over there?!

[Despite being over a speaker the utter concern in her voice was ever-present. The kind of voice of a person who's used to looking out for others.]


What.... what the heck am I looking at?

[It seems that Cora has stumbled upon something beyond her comprehension. Maybe its something you're used to, maybe its just mindbogglingly ridiculous to you as well.... maybe its just plain weird.]

[Whatever it is, Cora just has this expression that she's trying to keep it together but the seams are barely holding. Try to calm her down?]

empress_without_a_throne: (Calculating)
[personal profile] empress_without_a_throne

... The weatherman lied today.

[Well, technically no.  The forecast had just called for cloudy skies all day, but lo and behold, the sun was shining and the sky was free of obstruction.  Normally that would be cause for celebration... but for Mizuki, well... she hadn't thought she had needed to bring her umbrella along today and now she was stuck without it.  Great.]

If this doesn't let up and I can't find some shade, you're buying me a hoodie.

[And yeah, she's realizing how demanding she's being, which is enough for her to sigh in frustration.]

... I'll pay you for it when we get back, though.  Promise.

[Such was life for the Abyss Empress.]


Whoo!  Dinnertime!  Been looking forward to this all month long!

[Indeed she has been!  And from the food lines, Mizuki picks up a particular meal that had been prepared for her, right before going, sitting down, and preparing to dig in... with her meal now plain to see for everyone.]

... What's everyone looking at?  You've never seen cooked anglerfish before?


[It's late at night in the hangar, and most of the mechanics and pilots have already called it today.  Mizuki, however, is perched on some railing, looking at the feminine-looking, winged and black humanoid standing still like a statue.]

I heard that the Illuminati are opening up talks again about canning Project Sol for good.  We're not going to let that happen, alright?  If we kick enough ass, they'll reconsider.  Or at least they should.

[For whatever reason you're still in the hangar, Mizuki doesn't honestly care.  She needs someone to talk to and she's not going to be taking no for an answer.]

Things are looking up for us finally, I mean.  For me, Sara, the Director... everyone involved.  Sol's still got a place in this world, all of us do!  We've just... gotta prove it to them.

... Dammit, how does GGG and everyone else keep their financiers from breathing down their necks like this?

link_to_revival: (Default)
[personal profile] link_to_revival

[It's anchor-dropping time for the Chalice, though if anyone were to take a look outside where the Chalice is docking a horde of angry protestors can be seen.  No rotten eggs or tomatoes are visible yet, but there's more than a few signs being held aloft calling for the head of the "Icarus Bomber".    Said "bomber" can only stare for a little while before skulking off to her room.  At least she has some degree of protection on the ship.]

It might be best for me to stay on the ship until we leave here.  I didn't even really need anything out there anyways.

[Being a hero with terribad publicity sucked.  It was worse when it was mostly warranted.]


[Lynn'd made the transfer to pilot, sure, but that hadn't kept her from her mechanic duties.  Far from it in fact; now that her status as a wanted woman was known to the command crew (and everyone else on the Chalice for that matter), one of the only reasons she could stay on the ship was because she was worth more to them this way than as a bounty to be handed in.  And so she was currently slaving away at getting a half-trashed mook in working order, working away at getting its reactor working.]

What do you think, R?  The thing was overclocked to kingdom come, but there's a good chance that faulty conduits are what's keeping it from working.

[And with that she glances to a little digital camera hooked up to a laptop computer, the screen completely blank before lines of text begin to appear all on their own.]

You're more familiar with these kinds of things than I am, Lynn.  Still, working from the top to the bottom might be the best way of doing this.

Good point.  If we know the reactor's in working order, if all else fails we can always just transfer it to another machine.


[BATTLE!  A particularly hectic one, with mooks coming at everyone non-stop!  And that lowly customized security robot's doing what it can to keep afloat in all of this craziness.  Unfortunately, Lynn's still new to this piloting thing and a nearby explosion rocks it, causing the REVIVAL to stumble towards the ground.]

Not good, not good...

R!  I'm going to go for the penetrator rifle!  If we can snipe from a distance-

R, there's too many of them out there and this isn't open to debate!  I can't keep up with everything if we're front and center!

[If you didn't know any better you might think Lynn's arguing with an imaginary friend of hers.]

mistaken_for_monster: (I can't deal with this...)
[personal profile] mistaken_for_monster
1) [Random Street Corner.]

[You're probably going about your business, something or the other. Then as you're about to move on you see someone in his mid-teens rushing past a cornery, looking severely battered and like the hounds of hell were chasing him down. By mere luck - or perhaps your reflexes, he doesn't crash into you when he trips and eats pavement.]

Ugh.. ow.. H.. hey.. not... to sound too needy or anything.. but .. could you help me out...?

[He's struggling with his words as he does his best to get as much air as he could into his lungs and he's got a couple of scratches that are starting to leak blood.]

2) [Somewhere deserted.]

[Maybe you chanced upon this place by accident, maybe you found this kid to be a little suspicious, either way you've found a rather odd scene..]

Oh great... may as well add grand theft bovine onto the list of reasons those guys are trying to kill me...

[Volya's standing in front of a twenty meter-plus thing... . There's no other way to describe the twisted bipedal horror of flesh and metal with far too many fangs and several eyes that were NOT on its head. It was also holding a cow... surprisingly... the thing wasn't tearing the bovine into fountaining gore as one would expect (though the animal in question WAS looking plenty freaked)... rather it was just holding it before the teen.]

That's what I get for thinking I needed a little more milk... I bet you're proud of yourself.

[There was a noise that sounded like gurgling and a blender full of nails.]

3) [City streets.]

[You hear a soft humming as you look towards a garbage can and see this guy digging around from it.]

Rotten.. rotten.. wrapping... junk... empty... dammit why the heck to hobos make this look so easy-

[His musings were interrupted by the crack of thunder and the start of an afternoon rain.]

And now this.... glorious...

[He was grinding his teeth in agitation.]

4) [Inner City - Battle]

[There's utter chaos in the streets as several machines proceed to gang up on a large monster... however that monster doesn't seem to be attacking very much.... in fact it was just countering and struggling before just stopping in place and refusing to move as it was repeatedly pummeled.]

[Blood and metal rained down on the streets with each strike. The beast letting out an agonized howl... in tandem with a young man's scream of pain.]
timeless_hope: (Are you still talking?)
[personal profile] timeless_hope
[1 - Video]

Well, I guess I should thank you for helping me back there. That was an important facility; I'd have been remiss to let it be damaged.

I'm looking for a ship called White Chalice. I need to ask for help with a problem that's a little too big for me to solve. And the world's at stake. Anyone have any ideas?

[2 - Action]

[Will's in the mess hall, stopping for a break after a long day of work keeping the ship in order. But he's looking a little bored. Luckily, you've walked in at just the right time.]

You'll do. I've been working all day, and I'm bored. Talk to me. Maybe it'll be interesting.

[3 - Combat]

[Well. Those are definitely Zakus. Lots and lots of Zakus. They wouldn't be a problem if they weren't all forming a killing jar all around, standing in a ring with every weapon a Zaku can actually wield... which means it'll take some creative dodging to get out of this one.

In your corner? A huge, blue, well-armored robot with a machine gun and... oh boy, that's a beam chainsaw! Will's all business.]

You, cover me. If we get out of this, you're officially on my nice list. [And he runs straight for the nearest Zaku, machine gun blazing and chainsaw spinning up!]

[Bonus - Combat? | Female characters only]

You seem to be in trouble. [There seems to be a Will here that's just jumped in to save you, tanking something that would kill you. He then turned back with a pleasant grin.] Would you like some help?
gift_of_magus: (slightly angry lineface)
[personal profile] gift_of_magus
1. [Okay, so you ended up in a weirdly massive bookstore. That's a bit weird. A large, ancient book falling off the shelf, that's perfectly possible. The same book flopping open, turning into a whirlwind of pages, and the figure of a strangely-dressed girl appearing in the middle of the storm-that's doing an acrobatic swan dive off the deep end, and it's the situation you find yourself in now. The girl, for her part, doesn't seem to care.]

Tell me, mortal: What is your name?

2.[That book-girl from earlier is catching up for lost time. That is to say, she's parked herself in the common area of the ship and is watching basically every notable film since 1950 in a marathon session. It's been two days. She shows no signs of stopping, though the popcorns scraps are beginning to pile up.]

Hm. Cinema has advanced quite a bit....

3.[Eibon's been around for a little while now, though you may not have met her before. And today, you get to walk in on the sight of her intensely playing videogames in your room. She's wearing one of your shirts-and nothing else. At least it's a bit big on her. Dare ye discover what game she is partaking in now?]

whats_a_paladin: (Default)
[personal profile] whats_a_paladin
1. [Hey look, there's a red robot nearby, looking very similar to a knight in a heavy suit of armor. The robot is kneeling down, the cockpit in its chest open and revealing its pilot, also wearing armor. He inserts an old-looking tome into a slot in the cockpit and proceeds to run diagnostics.]

Hmm... All green, it seems. Good.

[He takes the book out of one slot and puts it into another, and proceeds with his work as if nothing happened. The process also makes the robot's armor slowly change color to blue. Weird.]

2. [Raynor is walking down, the corridor, carrying a huge and a bit wobbly stack of books that obscures most of his vision.]

In hindsight... Taking them all at once wasn't the best idea...

[Surely nothing bad can happen, right?]

3. [Battle time! You're facing a giant monster, and a pretty damn tough one on top of that. Raynor's robot takes a step back after disengaging from melee with the creature, but despite suffering some damage he's not letting his morale drop.]

Tough guy, aren't you...? Don't worry, my friends. I promise that we'll see the end of this together!

Paragon of Compassion! Change, Bard form!

[Paragon's armor changes color into bright gold! The robot's speakers start to blast power metal loudly, the special properties of the soundwaves bringing extra speed and toughness to Raynor's allies!]

betterinthedark: (☼ how do you do?)
[personal profile] betterinthedark


[ Blazenova has woken up in the tower and she is understandably not happy. Azeroth destroyed? What have those idiots been doing in their world, and more importantly, which bad guy did they piss off? Well, anyway, she's gotten her clothing on and her valuables needed and is...currently stalking you in the shadow, waiting to see if she can strike. She doesn't trust anyone here and the likelihood of any sin'dorei being around is slim. ]

Come on, at least make this challenging.



[ Oatmeal? Whatever happened to a cured ham steak or the various foods around Azeroth? However, she knows it's better to survive and thus is eating her oatmeal with one hand, another on the hilt of her dagger resting at her side. She's still suspicious off everyone, though is slightly calmer than her earlier attempts at making sure she got out of Alliance territory. ]



[ 'sup? If you were doing something important, well - Blazenova's going to interrupt by politely tapping on your shoulder and looking straight at you with her glowing green eyes. ]

What do you know of the Alliance? Are they keeping us here, and if so, are you working for them?

[ Say the right thing and she might not decide to use her poisoned daggers at you. ]
painintheass: (Stare)
[personal profile] painintheass
[Jake woke up without pain. It was so confusing to not have something wrong with him, it took him a moment to realise this wasn't his own bedroom. He jumped out of bed, and then up and down a few times. This was great! He ran to the bedroom door and yanked it open and stared. This wasn't even his house!]

Jenna! Marcus! Henry! [He yelled out as loud as he could, glad his back didn't ache, and bounded down the stairs still calling out the names.] Is anyone there?!

[Seeing the front door, and no one around, he walked over, grinning that he could, and opened it. What he saw made him stare even more, wiping the grin off his face.]

W-Where am I?!
radiancy: (☆ brofist. enough said.)
[personal profile] radiancy

[ Scramble Crossing. Everyone wakes up here after completing the day's tasks. So, as Hoshi yawns and stretches, she'll approach her partner with a grin on her face. Her arms are behind her head, supporting it somewhat. ]

Yo, partner. What's the task for today?

[ Friendly enough, yeah? ]


[ Noise. It's always the Noise. As you and her are confronted by a swarm of them, her dagger immediately unsheathes and she twirls the blade around in her hand. If this is your first time, don't worry - she's got things under control!

At least she hopes so. ]

Ready for this?

[ Please don't die on me-- ]


[ Well, now you've done it. You've either gave her one of her detested foods, made her wear a brand she doesn't like - whatever. Now she's mad and growling a little. ]

Don't think I'm gonna forgive ya over this! I've told ya repeatedly, I hate Lapin Angelique, Natural Puppy and Sheep Heavenly!

[ How are you gonna defuse this? ]
immortalia: (☆ come into my arms.)
[personal profile] immortalia

[ Waking up in strange places? Okay, fine, Sertoria can handle it. However, she can't help but feel as if something is amiss once she awakes in a bed not her own. Idly, she wonders if she's been recaptured by her creators, but if that was the case, she'd be in chains and restrained.

How very odd... Well, when she dresses in a simple white tunic, she checks to see if her metal bracelet and necklace are on before setting forth in the hallways.

It was time to investigate. ]


[ Here she was, sat down with a bowl of oatmeal and is...not touching it, oddly. She sees you in the cafeteria and gets up with the bowl in her hands. ]

I... really do not require sustenance. This food would be wasted otherwise. Would you like this instead?


[ During the nighttime, Sertoria can be found wandering the hallways and occasionally one can catch glimpses of light coming from her whenever she's faced with a monster. She found out during her first encounter that reasoning and talking with them wouldn't work, so she had to rely on her old ways again.

Sigh. She really abhorred killing...

At least those metal accessories are still around her neck and wrist. ]

...How many more are there around here?
simchambers: (Shiro | ...Hm.)
[personal profile] simchambers

[Well, for some reason as you go about your usual days in the city, you can see a flash from the distance, before a dot of something begins hurtling towards city.

At first it's quite unidentifiable since it's pretty small.

Well, at least.

Before you can see a small shadow which gets larger every few seconds, as a definite warning that this thing is pretty damn big and also a green-colored Gespenst.

Oh and you can also hear this coming from your comm if you're in your mechs.]


[Oh, looks like the person in the Gespenst finally got himself out of the damaged PT, and recovered enough to use the book.]

...Er, rough landings aside, my name is Shiro Hawthorne, I... was a pilot for the Divine Crusade originally, but midway things kinda happened and now I'm a mercenary pilot for hire

If you guys are curious about how I happened to fall like a meteor towards the city in the first place, you can blame the Valkyrie for transporting me while my thrusters were damaged from an earlier fight.

So er yeah, sorry about that.

[It's battle time, and you can definitely see Shiro's Gespenst weaving through the enemies with ease as its thrusters enabled it to move towards any direction quickly, leaving the impression that it's just teleporting and zipping through all the places while it uses it's machine gun to poke holes on all the targets!]
i_see_dead_dragons: (Still totally badass for sure yes sirree)
[personal profile] i_see_dead_dragons

[You got a new roommate yesterday, a blind woman escorted in by one of the Lab guys. She holed up in her room pretty quick and you haven't seen her since. Until now, that is, where you've just come home to find her in your room, groping her way through your stuff.]


[You just told Aestuosa about something most people would consider highly unusual. Magic, aliens, time travel, whatever. As long as it's not about piloting a giant robot, that's not weird to her.]

Yeah, right! How gullible do you think I am?


[Oh, hey, look, it's Aestuosa over there, hanging out on a park bench. She pulls out a pack of cigarettes and lights one up before she starts... talking to herself?]

Ain't like it really matters to you, right?


[ALTERNATIVELY, if you're the sort of person who can see ghosts and other such otherworldly things, you get a pretty different view of the above situation. Aestuosa is sharing her bench with a deceased fellow, looks to be a young businessman of some sort. When she lights up, he admonishes her about the dangers of smoking.]

Ain't like it really matters to you, right?
halfgod_allego: (Default)
[personal profile] halfgod_allego

[Event! Somehow the entire city is flooded, while it is highly distressing to most of the city, Hector is getting along swimmingly - literally. He's diving and surfacing freely, collecting anemoi that washed in from the sea]

come on, the water's fine, and there's only nurse sharks here.


[Hector had suddenly run off on his own during an expedition, and gotten himself into trouble, trouble you had to bail him out from. He glances to the side - muttering]

I wasn't in real danger, I mean, it's not like things really mattered...


[This guy is your room mate, he seems fairly rational - until today, where you walk in on him painting the room and doing a haphazard job of it!]

Oh hey! You're here! What do you think of this color? Soothing isn't it!

[Hector suddenly slung an arm over your shoulder, paintbrush hitting your shirt]

I just looked at the room and thought 'we need something less boring' so I figured a paintjob would do the trick.
noble_sin: (lizard-hawk)
[personal profile] noble_sin

Loiec has gotten three Chinese finger traps stuck on his hands, and he's got a rather cute dejected look as he struggles with them. Apparently he doesn't know the secret to getting them off.


Piles of coins, strange objects d'art, tapestries and books, discarded suits of armor peeled open like tin cans, gnawed bones... you've stumbled into a dragon's lair. The dragon isn't very large, for a dragon, only the size of a wolf or so in body, before you add in the wings and long tail... and it's slumbering on one pile in particular, wings folded around it like a pterodactyl. Some of that stuff around it looks awfully valuable.


You keep seeing a mouse in different places, watching you. Nothing that seems special about it, really, except that it's the same one each time. And any other animals around keep getting anxious whenever it shows up, even if they don't actually know that it's there.


Loiec's been awfully focused on reading lately - so much that he's even taken to eating while surrounded by books, even though he's having to sound out words terribly often and has all of the reading pace of a snail. Today, though, something seems to have gotten mixed-up, because while he's staring so intensely at one book, it's another softcover he's taking bites out of and chewing instead of the sandwich still sitting in front of him.


Loiec's managed to get someone rather offended, and with things being a matter of honor, now it's turned into a duel. Loiec probably seems rather outmatched at best, but he's rather too overconfident about it - and the duel is coming up quick. Is it you he's dueling, or someone else?
themasterstools: (Default)
[personal profile] themasterstools
[The magistrate prompt]

[Welp, Eleuseus the Hawk (or the Empress' Dog as some people call him behind his back) just called you to his office about a week after you done something you really shouldn't have in Rome. He smiles disarmingly]

Come in, make yourself comfortable - do have a drink, I believe we got much to discuss.


[Long day at politics, backstabbing, or zaniness? There's nothing better to soothe away the tension then with a nice, steaming hot bath in Rome. Servants are flitting about offering drinks, massages, special massages, food, spare robes for those who find their clothes missing in suspicious circumstances, and can-we-be-more-blatant-by-what-they-mean-massages? He takes a glass of wine and waves the rest off. Slowly he turns to you]

You look embarrassed, is this the first time you took part in a public bath?


[Obligatory battle duel thread. Whether it's personal honor, just for fun, serious business, or a demonstration - you are fighting this guy. Eleuseus undoes his long dark overcoat and tosses it behind him. He has no weapons on him, but he looks confident still as he rolls his weight from one foot to the next, giving you a beckoning gesture]


[Party time! Eleuseus is still neat as a pin, and a remarkable show of restraint compare to the rest of the party as he moves through the crowd, whispering to one person, dancing with another before excusing himself, even he rounds out to you, offering a glass]

Are you enjoying yourself?
1st_superhero: (Default)
[personal profile] 1st_superhero
OOC: This entry is for an OC interpretation of the mythological Gilgamesh. First two entries are his silly mode, third is his serious mode, and the last three are his heroic mode.]

1. Phone; unfiltered

[Gilgamesh had a problem. Namely, he needed money. Back in his home universe, this meant he would dig around in his closet or his pockets, both of which had the blessing of unlimited closet space (the perks of getting a divine baby shower), and either find some reserve of cash or something he could pawn for quick expenditures. Unfortunately, he had neither his closet nor his closet space here. As such, he found himself scrawling down ideas about how he could earn some cash.]

[A couple minutes later, everyone who picks up the phone will hear his eager voice over the line.]

Does anyone know where I can find an Irish guy to dress as a priest?

2. Front yard

[Gilgamesh is standing outside his house, dressed in his best suit and holding an egg whisk. He paces back and forth as he speaks in a loud, confident tone and occasionally turns to aim the egg whisk at his “listeners.”]

Men, today, I ask you to do something that no man or ornament has ever done before; go somewhere that no men or ornament has gone before. You are the best and bravest of your generation, so I expect very much from you! I expect courage, integrity, dedication, intelligence, a sense of fun, loyalty, and FUN! I hope that by the end of our mission, I will have the pleasure of saying “It has been an honor working with you!” No, I know that I will have the pleasure of saying that to all of you who are still alive by the end, even if it is just one or two of you. That’s right—some of you may die, but even so, it’s worth it because years later, when your grandsons are crawling up on your knee asking what grandpappy did back now, you’ll be able to tell them something other than “I was shoveling shit in Louisiana.” Now, move out, my brave soldiers!

[He stands back, as if expecting a standing ovation from the garden gnomes of all shapes and colors lined up in straight rows on his lawn.]

3. Phone

[After a week’s worth of work, the beer was finally done. Sure, it had been made with some less-than-ideal ingredients (moldy bread from the back of the pantry, tea from tea bags, and whatever he could find in the spice rack), but he is sure that it cannot be too bad.]

[He scoops some up in a cup and takes a deep drink. As expected, the flavor is…original, but satisfactory. He pours more of the beer and continues chugging it down. After a couple drinks, he decides to see what it would taste like mixed with milk. Therefore, pulling the milk that he had gotten from his doorstep out of the fridge, he mixes it into his homemade beer and starts drinking the concoction.]

[Needless to say, within the hour, he is very far removed from his usual state of mind.]

[In his intoxicated state, he reaches toward the phone and dials a random number. He does not care whose it is. He only knows that he wants to speak to someone.]

Ya know, why do people call me the King of Heroes? I mean, heroes and kings are the exact opposite of each other. Heroes are good. Honest, protect people, honorable, loving...but not kings. Have you seen some of the things that kings are expected to do? Yeah, sure, they talk of honor and justice and all that crap and act the parts of goody-goods, but admit it—has any king in the entire course of history actually been good? And I mean truly good. Honest, superhero, apple-pie-eating good.

[He pauses for a moment.]

OF COURSE NOT! Look at Elizabeth I—good Queen, right? Hired pirates to fuck with honest merchant ships just because they were Spanish. Emperor Taizong of China—one of the most enlightened monarch ever. Got his career start murdering his brothers and forcing his father to abdicate. Peter the Great—greatest of Russian monarchs, burned and starved his own people to win a war against Sweden. Sure, good things came out of these actions, but does that make them good actions?

[He doesn’t even wait for an answer.]

No. They’re not good actions no matter what you say. They’re just necessary actions. I did all that, and more. If I had a choice to go back, I’d choose to do it the exact same way all over again. And if I had to do something like that here? You bet I’d do it without batting an eyelash. I’ll be the first to admit it—back when I was king, I was an ass. But all kings were. And all kings, presidents, and rulers of anything besides a small community still are. We’re a ruthless bunch of assholes, but we’re only assholes so we can protect you.

[He takes a deep breath.]

So now we’ve settled on the matter of kings and heroes, tell me—why does everyone insist on calling me the King of Heroes even though that’s a logical fallacy in and of itself?

4. Action; All over town

[Gilgamesh sighs. He has a big problem—bigger than running out of money or being confronted by angry alien mothers who wanted him to give back their babies or even blowing up his living room. Said problem was that he was bored.]

[And to make it worse, this wasn’t the sort of boredom that could be resolved with a simple zany scheme. No, this was the other sort of boredom. The ennui that settles in alongside a mundane life that did not include massive, dramatic battles between good and evil. Specifically, Gilgamesh felt a familiar stirring in his heart calling him go out and seek not just adventure, but heroism. He wanted to help someone again; to slay monsters and defend the weak.]

[So now, Gilgamesh is wandering through the streets with a large paper sign hanging off his neck. It says “ Unemployed Epic Hero: Will Work for Free.” He is ready to take the requests of anyone who comes up to him as well as volunteer to help anyone who he sees with a problem.]

5. Park

[Gilgamesh is standing in the park, trying to find something or someone in need of his assistance.]

6. Bar

[The door to the bar flies open. Gilgamesh stomps into the establishment and points at the patrons.]

Are there any heroes ready to join me on a QUEST?

September 2015

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