General test

[has_a_reciept]

-Owned Golem 1-
[Golems move unnervingly with unnerving quiet, especially considering their size. Dorfl seems to have silently appeared behind you, having completed all the work assigned to it. Golems have no mouth, but Dorfl has been thoughtfully equipped with a small chalkboard and chalk. It has written a message on it.]

ALL TASKS HAVE BEEN COMPLETED

-Owned Golem 2-
[People don't like golems. They work 24 hours a day without complaint, but everyone has heard from a friend of a cousin's wife about the golem in some other town that went crazy and killed someone, or that turned an entire forest into tables because no one told it to stop.

This golem is cowering in the center of a crowd of shouting people, some of whom have sledgehammers. It is holding up a chalkboard like a shield. The chalkboard says:]

I AM WORTH 530 DOLLARS

-Free Golem 1-
[Somehow, the subject of Dorfl's religion came up.]

I Will Accept Any God Who's Existence Can Be Proven By Logical Argument.

[There is an ominous rumble of thunder from a clear sky. Dorfl ignores it.]

-Free Golem 2-
[In the middle of a conversation, you heard people out on the street running and someone screaming "Fire!"

Dorfl stopped mid sentence and turned to trudge towards the source of the panic.]

We Will Have To Continue This Discussion Later.

Comments

Free 1

[grave_of_being]

An interesting proposition. What will you accept as proof of divinity?

[has_a_reciept]

By Accepted Definitions, Gods Derive Their Power From The Belief Of Mortals. Ergo, The First Test That Comes To Mind To Prove The Divinity Of A Being Would Be To See What Happens If Was Denied Belief.

[grave_of_being]

Of course, of course, but how do you deny a God its belief? I couldn't simply wave a hand and order my followers to stop believing in me.

I am, for the record, claiming godhood.

[has_a_reciept]

It Would Be Tricky.

A God Would Also Be Able To Perform Some Miracles. Classic Examples Involve Mostly Smiting.

[The briefest of hesitations.]

There Are Also Instances Of Manna Raining From The Sky.

[grave_of_being]

Then again, how does one perform a miracle and prove that it wasn't simply high-grade magic?

This is trickier than I thought it would be.

[has_a_reciept]

I Had Been Working Under The Assumption That I would Be Having This Discussion With A Priest, Not The God Itself.

That You Are Actually Here In Person May Actually Be A Point Against You, As Gods Are Not Known For Making Personal Appearances.

[grave_of_being]

[Tch!]

I could go get someone to talk to you on my behalf, but I suspect it's too late for that.