Anemoi

[only_one_m]

-1-

[There's a wasp's nest in some really inconvenient location! You're COVERED IN BEES WASPS and probably freaking out about it, if not necessarily Cage-style. Samus, meanwhile, casually knocks down the nest and gets utterly swarmed. By the way, she is in her Power Suit.]

Aren't you overreacting? The insects on this planet are absurdly small due to atmospheric thinning, so most of them aren't a threat unless they have access to bare skin. On top of that, this species doesn't seem to have even a basic projectile acid sac. How do insects this tame and defenseless even survive in an ecosystem?

[Yeeeeeaaaahhh, she's not helping.]


-2-



[You're at a bar! That's really all. Being like 6'3", Samus is, unsurprisingly, not a lightweight. Old (war?) stories are being swapped. All freshly remembered. As you recall an old buddy of some sort, Samus is gravitating towards a bittersweet mood.]

I think I knew someone a bit like that once...


-3-



[Hey, roomie? Samus sleeps like this. Well, without the armor, but the pose, definitely.

Maybe it's kind of weirding you out.]


-4- SECRET GAG BONUS PROMPT



WARNING: SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED. FACILITY WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 5:00:00
4:59:00
4:58:00

Samus grabs you wordlessly while dashing out at very superhuman speed.]

Why does this always happen?!?

Comments

1

[shipslikefedex]

They don't have a whole lot of native purredators I guess ugh ugh owww they're going up my nose!!

[only_one_m]

[She feels a little bad, but she thought your race was supposed to be good at killing threats.]

Do you need help?

[shipslikefedex]

Yes blarrrrrgh do something.

[only_one_m]

[After scaring her own wasps off with a few beam shots, Samus powers down out of the armor and holds up a stun gun. A few uncharged shots in the air around Nepeta seem to scramble the fuck out of the bugs, and also give Nepeta crazy raised-up static hair.]

There. Good as new.

[shipslikefedex]

[Her hair's had worse in it. She'll take it.]

Bluhhhh. Thanks! If these things were as tough as the monsters back on Alternia, I'd be one mew-tilated mess by now!

[only_one_m]

Have you ever considered getting training?

[shipslikefedex]

I'm purr-etty tough.

I can't deal with the little buzzy things, that's all. If they were big enough to fight, I'd be fine!

3

[aquadere]

[Said roomie has waken up for some reason or another, and is just... staring.

Then she slowly gets up, walks over to Samus's bed, and prods her firmly with one finger.]

[only_one_m]

[After a moment...]

What?

[aquadere]

That seems uncomfortable. Wouldn't it be better to sleep normally?

[Yes, she woke you up just for that. SHE'S TRYING TO BE HELPFUL, THOUGH...]

[only_one_m]

I'm perfectly comfortable. This is the normal sleeping position for the Chozo.

[aquadere]

"Chozo"? Juvia doesn't know what that is.

2

[trustycrowbar]

[Gordon is definitely NOT six-foot-three, and is rather lean and thin for the height he does possess. That being said, he's surprisingly stable for the number of beers he's had. Although it does take him a moment to stop babbling.]

Then there's this time he dared me to blow up the microwave in the break room the next morning. Completely annihilated Magnesson's breakfast--what, who, you mean Barney?

[only_one_m]

Well, the similarities aren't what you'd call uncanny, but your stories are reminding me of my partners back when I worked for the federation.

[trustycrowbar]

Really?! [He says this with wobbly amazement.] Well... that actually makes sense now that I think about it. You throw a bunch of people--researchers, security, soldiers, whatever--on base for a long time and you're going to get some antics out of it. Especially if the only other thing they can really do besides their job, is drink.

[He hefts his beer to indicate and takes a drink. Huh. Well that sort of explains his alcohol tolerance.]

[her_saga]

SURE THEY'RE SMALL, BUT YOU'VE GOT AT LEAST NEAR THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SIX STINGING AND BURNING THROUGH MY EPIDERMIC TISSUES! AKA MY FLEEEEEEESH!

[And Excel is swinging around with a metal pipe hoping that could do any good. It doesn't.]

3

[solvings]

[It isn't. Hey, this is Sherlock Holmes we're talking about here, he isn't weirded out by much, especially since coming here. In fact, right now he is experimenting on something in the kitchen.

Explosion in three, two, and one.

BOOM.]