For SRWUG@, (Insert Joke About Books And Covers Here)

[gift_of_magus]

1. [Okay, so you ended up in a weirdly massive bookstore. That's a bit weird. A large, ancient book falling off the shelf, that's perfectly possible. The same book flopping open, turning into a whirlwind of pages, and the figure of a strangely-dressed girl appearing in the middle of the storm-that's doing an acrobatic swan dive off the deep end, and it's the situation you find yourself in now. The girl, for her part, doesn't seem to care.]

Tell me, mortal: What is your name?



2.[That book-girl from earlier is catching up for lost time. That is to say, she's parked herself in the common area of the ship and is watching basically every notable film since 1950 in a marathon session. It's been two days. She shows no signs of stopping, though the popcorns scraps are beginning to pile up.]

Hm. Cinema has advanced quite a bit....


3.[Eibon's been around for a little while now, though you may not have met her before. And today, you get to walk in on the sight of her intensely playing videogames in your room. She's wearing one of your shirts-and nothing else. At least it's a bit big on her. Dare ye discover what game she is partaking in now?]

Comments

[ooh_nya_lets_nya]

[Aaaaand Nyarlko's already sitting down next to Eibon and getting everything all set up!]

Alright then! We'll go in and kick all those monsters and robots and aliens and terrorists and everything's asses! We'll do a marathon of all the games! By the time we're done you'll be the master of all things Contra!

[gift_of_magus]

...Are you sure that all that is necessary? It seems like...quite a time investment.

[ooh_nya_lets_nya]

Nah. These games were made back in the day when you couldn't really make big games, so they just ramped up the difficulty REALLY high to pad out the experience!

You can beat the original Castlevania in like... half an hour!

[gift_of_magus]

Really? This shouldn't be a problem, then.

Let us begin.

[ooh_nya_lets_nya]

Indeed!

[And as the game starts...]

UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A START!

[She announces this with as much dramatic flair as possible, enjoying the little chiming noise informing Nyarlko of her 25 extra lives. And with that...]

ALRIGHT! Now it's time to GO GO G-

[... And her character is immediately killed by a stray bullet.]

... Well I did say this game was hard.

[gift_of_magus]

I would have expected a being of your powers to be more skilled at their favorite games...

[Eibon is taken out by a stray bullet not long afterwards as well.]

This...may take a while.

[ooh_nya_lets_nya]

[And five hours later, they're still on the starting screen. And Nyarlko is looking downright suicidal as she once again gets her character gunned down almost instantly.]

... but... but I beat this game once...

I shouldn't be having this kind of trouble...

[gift_of_magus]

[Meanwhile, someone is dodging bullets like they're a touhou character.]

I have never touched this game before today and I am already better than you.

To see the crawling chaos reduced to this state...it's pathetic.

[ooh_nya_lets_nya]

S-SHUT UP!

[And oh boy, Nyarlko might be sucking right now, but she still remembers the command to steal lives from the other player!]

T-this is all just because you broke into my room to play games anyways!

[gift_of_magus]

I fail to see how my actions make you less skilled.

[Still dodging! No problem.]