testrun_box | I shall be blunt. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!!!

I shall be blunt. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!!!

[1]

[Its a regular night like any other. Maybe you decided on a walk, maybe you needed a late night snack at someplace you knew was still open... hell, maybe you had to do overtime at work because some schlub needed you to fill in for him/her because the aforementioned schlub bailed on you. Either way you find yourself pulled head over heels into some kind of snare trap before getting flung into a net suspended in the air!]

Ahahaha! I've finally got you!!!

[There's a long wail of a guitar and the sound of screeching tires as a motorbike ramps up across the street and skids in front of the net you're currently occupying! From how he's postioned... this man somehow had managed to play that riff while sending the bike he was using as a platform at full speed. From what you can tell.... there is seriously something wrong with this man.]

Aah, to think you've evaded me for this long because of Daijuuji Kurou... but no one can get away from this Century's... no...THIS MILLENIUM'S Greatest SUPER Genius!!!

DOCTAAAAAAAH-

-WEEEEEEEEEEST!

[It seems there might be a case of mistaken identity here... care to correct him? Then again this man's weird enough as it is... talking to him might be a very risky prospect on its own.]

[2]

[A fight's broken out somewhere - be it the city, the rolling hills, the steep mountain ranges or the foaming sea shore! For the moment it seems to be a stalemate.... then..]

WAAAAAAIT RIGHT THERE!!!

[There's the wailing of a guitar... No. There is NO possible way-]

You lower life forms and your inferior High-Grade Models have no chance against the unbelivable genius of-

DOCTOR WEST~!!!

[-Nevermind. Its this guy. But what is different this time is that he's standing upon the top of a truly MASSIVE (More or less... given the standard definition of massive when it comes to mecha in any case) robot. The machine itself is festooned with an impressive array of cannons, missiles and beams - with several massive drill arms and armor so thick it would take massive amounts of raw power to punch through! It.... also looks like a giant drum can. With Limbs. Soak in that image for a while. A stray shot from the battlefield nearly ganks him - though fortunately... or unfortunately depending on your perspective he was pulled back into his machine by his co-pilot.]

Doctor. They're still firing-Robo.

[The good doctor however seems to be considering other matters.... like the charred hairs slowly falling from his head.]

....GAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! MY HAIR! ELSA! THEY DAMAGED MY BEAUTIFULLY PERFECTED AND WELL MAINTAINED LOCKS! THIS IS UNFORGIVABLE! BLAST THEM! FIREFIREFIREFIRE!!! FIRE EVERYTHING!

[Elsa just shakes her head - she still complies though as the Destroyer Robot just lays into the offending shooter's faction.]

Doctor... you're an idiot -Robo.

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[You picked the wrong target today though, Dr. West... when the silver-haired girl's massive cowlick suddenly grows razor-sharp and cuts open the net.]

Well you're just going to have to forgive me on this... I've got far more invested with Kurou~ than you ever will, doctor.

WHAAAAAA- How could you break out of a cleverly designed trap made my ME- The greatest genius that this world has EVER seen - even if your hairstyle, as fashionable and brilliant as it is - though it pales in comparison to mine it shouldn't be possible!

[He then notices that other thing she spoke about - the one name that the Prodigy on Paper would snap up like a starving wolf at a fat and crippled deer.]

DAIJUUJI KUROU?!?! You know of that... that JACKAL?! That depraved and unscrupulous dangerous pervert who has seduced my dear Elsa?!

[Nyarlko's response?]

Well it seems obvious how... but I'm not gonna insult the world's greatest genius by explaining it to him or anything like that. I'll let you earn your keep... Master Therion's kept you around for a reason, right?

But more importantly... I do know all about Kurou~

[And her heart is all aflutter... Oh Kurou, maybe this iteration they'll finally be together. If not, oh, there was always the fun of the next time around.]

And isn't it great? He's so heroic; it's no surprise that Elsa's fallen for him.

[He lets out a horrified gasp, pointing at Nya like she was some sort of unspeakable horror from the depths of unreality, waiting to cause utter chaos and depravity upon humankind! .... Wait a second...]

So Daijuuji Kurou's got his filthy hands on you too! Oh what a tragedy to see another person with such style with their hair to be led astray!

[He lets out a melodramatic sob.]

I have no idea how that foul and unspeakable lower lifeform has managed to connive Elsa's attentions, but he's definitely no hero!

[Like he's one to talk.]

[Now to see just how far she can twist that spork.]

Mmmmm, guilty as charged, Doctor! I fell for him long ago... aeons ago even. And every time you march one of your Destroyer Robots out into the city, he rises up to stop you, representing the very best in all of humanity alongside little Al~

So when are you going to send out your new Super West Fragile No. 28? I want to make sure I have popcorn ready for the occasion!

Edited 2013-08-27 01:23 (UTC)

Wow, that's an impressive entrance. Do you practice often to get that down?

[She doesn't seem to worried about being captured at all.]

Oh? Practice? For a genius like me, a grand entrance is just as easy as breathing or building a thermonuclear reactor! Only lower lifeforms would ever have to practice to even come CLOSE to achieving such perfection as-

[And the last horse crosses the finishline as he realizes that it wasn't his intended mark in the net.]

EEEEEEEH?! What are you doing in that net?! You're not Al Azif!

[Doctor West is now scrambling up close, observing Kanade from severa different angles looking comically distressed. Amusingly that cowlick on his head seems to look like a spring that was twisted completely out of shape as if to signify his shock and aggravation.]

Nope, so since I'm not that person mind letting me down? I'm supposed to meet up with a friend of mine, if I'm late she'll get worried.

This is impossible! How could I - the Great Doctor West, Genius of all Geniuses make a mistake like this?! After such loving detail plied to a plan I spent numerous nights plotting out and long hours as the moon rose and fell in the sky working on my brilliant trap! Oh such tragedy to err so horribly!

[Doctor West lets out a cry that is downright tragic... to Doctor West. Anyone else would see pure and unadulterated melodrama that borders on over the top ridiculousness that even a four year old would find it ridiculous. In any case he absentmindedly cuts the net and releases Kanade with his head held low.]

Ah - but to make mistakes is to be human, even a brilliant man like me - The Great Doctor West, must be brought low by the circumstances that guide the world.

[He sighs dramatically, his cowlick - previously having deflated like a balloon that had the air let out of it to make rude farting noises was now in a ridiculous heart shape as he continued his monologue, oblivious to any of Kanade's reactions.]

The Wind blows, the flowers bloom in the spring, the sun shines brightly in the sky after the dark clouds of rain drift away... such is the beauty of life that a great man can pick himself up off the ground and brush away the dust of his mistakes and stride on into tomorrow!

...Huh...?

Who are you...?

[The slow-speaking girl proceeds to tilt her head curiously.]

[At this Dr West lets out a stunned and horrified gasp.]

To be forgotten after everything I have done, after all the times we have clashed! Oh you are so CRUEL not to remember me! Al Azif!

[He looks glum... for all of two seconds before assuming what he believes to be an inspirational pose. Hilariously he still hasn't noticed that Plutia is most definitely not Al Azif.]

But if you really have forgotten me, then I will have to shine so brightly that my name is burned onto your pages, like a memory of watching fireworks under a night sky on new years eve with your hand held in that of your one true love! Ah~

[He lets out a mighty riff on his guitar!]

I am the Unrivaled Genius! The man who stands on the pedastal of science above every other man and woman who came before me that would make them weep tears of awe!

MY NAME IS-

[He punches his hand into the air, somehow... his bike spits out fireworks behind him to hammer in his introduction.]

DOCTOR WEST!

[Hey look Plutia. Doctor West's lab coat has some fire on it because of the fireworks. Do you tell him?]

Al...Azif...?

[Blink, blink.]

That's wrong. I'm Plutia...and...

[Despite being suspended in a net, she tries her best to point at your coat, Doctor.]

Ummm...you're on fire...

Ahahaha, you think you can trick me Al Azif - but a genius like me knows all about your cunning ploys! Thinking you can have me mistake you for someone else when I designed this trap especially for you and make me think that I'm on fire? I am too clever to fall for such-

[He sniffs the air before slowly looking behind him and blinking.]

-... I'm on fire...

[He turns back to look at Plutia - as if to continue on his rant. Then his eyes bug out as he realized that YES. He WAS on fire! HIS ONE WEAKNESS! Aside from bullets, explosions, lightning and severe beatings including but are not limited to boots to the face, punches to the stomach, knees to the groin and being thrown through walls like a rag doll.]

NOOOOOOOOOO!

[The good doctor is now doing the stop, drop and roll in order to try put out the fire. He could have of course just TAKEN OFF HIS LAB COAT, but it seems that common sense isn't his thing really.]

[And how does Plutia take all this? She laughs. You did make her end up in this net, so...]

...Mister Doctor is an interesting person~

[That, and she enjoys seeing you in pain.]

[He's finally managed to put the fire out. Plutia would note that hilariously - like something out of a cartoon - it managed to burn a hole into the seat of his pants. Heart covered boxers ahoy!]

Ah! What a treacherous person you are Al Azif to take such joy in my suffering! You are cruel! So cruel, like a wicked seductress who lures men in with her sinister feminine wiles only to string them along through a series of heartbreaking, soul rending trials that leaves them curled up and sobbing upon the floor in tearful agony!

[He also seems to forget that Plutia pointed out that he was on fire, and that she isn't Al. In any case he's standing right in front of the net, looking terribly affronted and more or less poking/beeping Plutia on the nose with an accusatory point.]

I'm not like that...

[That is a bold-faced half-lie, but she -does- look pretty upset now, Doctor.]

...I need to go home soon. It's been a long day, and staying in this net hurts...so...

[Before Dr West could speak any further he's cut off by the sound of a tommygun chattering. Plutia would be treated to the sight of West having to dance around crazily in a haphazard manner to avoid getting bullets to the feet - his shoes were a little messed up though as he crashed headfirst against a public phone not too far from where he started off.]

She isn't Al Azif. Robo. Doctor. Stop wasting time so we can get the trap ready when she DOES turn up. Robo.

[Elsa was looking as perturbed as she always is, having borrowed the gun from one of the conveniently close by Black Lodge henchmen. All of which were averting their gaze from the situation, one even going as far as to whistle innocently.]

I never programmed you to be so cruel Elsa (to him at least), oh this really breaks my heart... curse Daijuuji Kurou to the very darkest depths of my soul for wreaking such havoc on you.

[Plutia could swear she could hear a downright pathetic sob before West snapped back to his feet, looking as proud as ever despite the many things that befell him upon Plutia's unintended capture - she would find herself released from the net and Dr West talking AT her again.]

But it seems that I, Doctor West, Scientist of Scientists have made a tragic misstep. Oh how it pains me to have been caught up in such a mistake... but I must now make amends... and I know the most perfect gift~.

[Plutia would find something soft and large being pressed into her hands. It was a pillow. A BODY pillow. Of DOCTOR WEST. Things just got a little weird now.]

Know that I will stick by you in your dreams and guide you on the path of my brilliance, even in your rest~

[... Yeah... this.... Elsa's just going to facepalm in the background.]

[Just...this face throughout the whole thing.]

Huuuuuh-?

[First the gunfire, then the crashing, then the sob, then the apology. Even Plutia is super confused by all this.

And that's when the WEST PILLOW comes. Surprisingly, she doesn't find it all that awkward and happily accepts the gift!]

It's good for you to apologize, Mister Doctor...but putting people in nets like that isn't nice...

Just don't cause more trouble from now on, okay...?

[That said, it looks like all those henchmen in the background are completely off her radar, somehow...]

Edited 2013-08-31 05:36 (UTC)

[The small girl you've captured is not amused.]

Really.

Ahahahahaha- Eh?

[DOCTOR WEST! SUPER GENIUS - is momentarily distracted, observing Eibon with much surprise. Then he blinks... and laughs triumphantly, as if he solved a mystery that only DOCTOR WEST, Paragon of Science!_(tm) could solve.]

Yes! Really! To think that you would attempt as something as childishly simple as changing your hair color to escape me Al Azif, but the all seeing eyes of a man of my profound intelligence can't be fooled by such a tacky dye job!

[He fails to notice several other things that set Eibon apart from Al, but either way he's going to revel in his self proclaimed victory.]

Edited 2013-08-27 15:20 (UTC)

A tacky...imbecile!

I am the Book of Eibon, not some bratty penny dreadful penned by an insane arab! If you're going to dabble in the dark arts you should know that there are grimoires far more ancient than the Necronomicon.

Now let me down, mortal!

Edited 2013-08-27 19:54 (UTC)

Im.... IMBECILE?!?!

[Oh Eibon, the fact that he overlooked the whole fact that you were a grimore much older than Al Azif just because you insulted his intelligence means so very much to this situation. Dr West recoiled as if hammered in the face with a wooden mallet.]

I'm BRILLIANT! If I am an Imbecile then what does that make you then Bon-bon? After all I caught you in this cunningly brilliant trap that any grimoire would fall prey to!

[Oh... oh god. Did he just refer to Eibon as 'BON-BON'?! Clearly Dr West is pushing his ability to survive to its very limits just by giving a grimoire a most terribly unsuitable nickname for their stature.]

Cunningly brilliant for a sea sponge, maybe.

[Eibon breaks apart into a storm of pages, and slips out through the net's holes.]

Ahahahaha! Well played Bon-bon, but I have planned SPECIFICALLY for this sort of gambit to be played! Feel the irresistable force of the West-Style Super Fuujin Vortex!

[With that Dr West drew out a most fearsome weapon - pointing them at the storm of pages with and hitting the trigger. Eibon would find herself being pitted against the most truly fearsome weapon a grimore (as well as several species of animal) would find themselves weak to battle against! A VACUUM!]

Ah, perhaps you may see me as a Sea Sponge, but my brilliance shines through that all other existences in this ocean called life cannot help but to gravitate towards me.

[The rampant pages are captured, funneled, and diverted to the attached glass box where they can be put on display. Of course, Eibon pulls herself together there.]

I-

You-

What foul sorcery is this?!

... Who the fuck are you?

Ah- You are not Al Azif! How on earth could such a horrific mistake happen! You aren't even the right size! ... Or gender for that matter - the question of your species itself is still up in the air! In fact...

[At this Dr West seems to turn around, pondering future glories.]

Yes! I can see it now, the adoration of the unenlightened lesser masses! My name - Doctor West - in lights and print as confetti falls from above as I ride through the streets in parade like a spring rain! My discoveries will be lauded for their genius for all time and children everywhere will try to reach for my splendor - crying tears of sadness when they find that they are inadequate to reach my level of brillians, but move on all the same because it is what I would have done.

[He really does love the sound of his own voice doesn't he? And all of that simply coming from getting Kamille trapped in a net with the annoyed Newtype going 'Who the fuck are you?']

But I digress... you, my latest discovery - are proud to bask in my presence and bolster my claim to fame!

I am the greatest genius to ever grace the species of humankind! No man or woman could ever match my brilliance and skill!

I am-!

[With this he plays a wicked riff on his guitar and revs his bike once for dramatic effect- unfortunately he didn't do anything to keep it from moving - it soon slams into a lamp post and sends him face first into it as well.]

... Doctor West....

[He says his name with a pained grunt, playing a pathetic single note before he pulls himself free... coughing lightly before taking a deep breath and-]

DOCTOOOOR! WEEEEEEEEEST!

[He plays the guitar riff again. Looks like he nailed it this time.]

[So in love with his voice that he never noticed the Newtype cutting his way out of the net with a pocket knife and walking away?]

So I'm going to have to take a left to get to the store?

[Ah, scratch that, walking away and talking to someone for directions.]

You aren't going anywhere. Robo.

[What was that Kamille? You think you could walk away? Sadly no. Elsa pretty much leaps from the shadows and hits you hard enough to have your world spin sickeningly before delivering a kick to the back of your knee to send you plummeting to the ground. Given Elsa's strength... its kind of a miracle you're not a pulped mess.]

Elsa! Don't damage him too much! I'll need him in one piece so I can study hi-

Doctor, you're being stupid again. Robo. He's just a normal human, there's nothing to study. Robo.

Aha? AHAHAHA! You're such a kidder Elsa! A kidder! There is no way that I - the Great Doctor West could mistake a normal human being for something special!

My sensors don't lie. Robo.

.....Eeelsaaaaaaaaa....

[He sounds tremendously dissapointed now.]

Ahhh to have made such a heartbreaking mistake... I saw such a shining ray of glory beaming down on me. No. It is far too dissapointing to have to look at this person right now, Elsa - get rid of him!

Stop being so overdramatic. Robo.

[Either way, Elsa's going to haul Kamille up by his collar and toss him into a dumpster. Enjoy the company of rotting garbage and roaches. Wait.. there was a sudden impact and a lurching - if Kamille were to pop his head up and lift the cover he'd see that the Gynoid had kicked the dumpster he was occupying down a slope! HAAAAAVE FUUUUN~]

[Oh that was mean of you to hide, Elsa. Being a Gynoid, he couldn't even sense your intent to hurt him, so you pretty much caught him unaware. Kamille, however, is used to utter beatdowns upon his person. This was nothing new. Still, the dumpster bit was an interesting remix. 'Shit, this thing is moving!' He kicked open the dumpster's cover--]

[At a later time...]

[SUDDENLY, DOCTOR WEST, A DUMPSTER IS COMING DOWN AT YOU FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HILL! Wait, it's the one Elsa dumped that totally ordinary kid in after your intellect was able to discern the feeble ruse he had constructed to confuse your senses! And the kids riding it down at you with great speed like a skateboard, staring straight ahead.]

[Misaki looks quite perplexed, hung up in a net, trying get best not to look flustered by it all. She does have one question.]

What are you talking about? I'm a robot, not... Whoever you're looking for.

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I shall be blunt. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!!!

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1 BECAUSE I FUCKING HAD TO!

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Mazel Tov

That comment was dickish. :l Allow me to retaliate in kind.

Well done. LET THE DICKERY CONTINUE

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