SRWU OC of a different sort

[springbreakfhtagn]

-1-


[Late at night, you are for whatever reason wandering odd corners of the Unity base, when you come across a truly horrifying sight!]

[It rises at your approach, twelve feet of writhing flesh, a dreadful form that defies all earthly logic. Tentacles slide across the pulsating mass as countless eyes all turn to focus on you in unison, each looking as it belongs to a different creature. Three great toothy maws open, and the creature speaks.]

[It sounds kind of like a black teenager from the Bronx.]

What up, Broseph?


-2-


OK, so I get red. It doesn't make any sense, but whatever, man, I'll give you red. There's some kind of weird invisible red color that only humans can see or fuckin' whatever, I give up, I'll roll with it.

But that's where I'm drawing the line, okay? You're legit messing with me at this point. One made-up color was enough. "Orange" is just bullshit. If this keeps going, you're just gonna keep making up new colors and it's never gonna fuckin' end.


-3-


[Event of the day: Ll'thl's "mech", a giant killer octopus-like monster, has drifted out of the hangar of the Macross ship it was inhabiting of its own volition, and is now clinging to the outside of the ship like a humongous starving lamprey.]

Okay - shit - okay, yo, don't worry. I know this looks bad but we still cool.

Basically Vhv is mad hungry, is all, and all it's got to eat around here is rocks. It's cool, I talked to it and it's not gonna try and eat our ship or anything, but even so it'd probably be good if we got in a mech fight pretty soon. Just sayin', is all.

Comments

3

[in_finale_res]

We could try sending a message to OZ about Leos being for dorks, but are we really still the good guys if we start a fight just for personal gain?

[springbreakfhtagn]

Yeah that would be a hardcore dick move.

Shit, I dunno, are there any villains terrorizing anything around here? There's usually something.

[in_finale_res]

I don't think we can just wait for something to come up. We only pick up a distress signal or get attacked about twice a week!

2

[vote_beeblebrox]

Nope. Orange exists. It is a thing. My presidential sash is orange. So is the sunset sky of Santraginus IV.

And the Santraginians get some KILLER sunsets.

[springbreakfhtagn]

OK, but like, if that's a thing, then answer me this: What's the difference between red and orange?

[vote_beeblebrox]

Red is...less...yellow?

Do you believe in yellow?

3

[a_monetized_mind]

[And whenever the creature approaches Jen-]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
[It goes poorly.]

[springbreakfhtagn]

SHIT. Hey. Hey, it's cool. It's cool. We're cool.

1-1/2

[way_of_vengeance]

...GWAH! Some sort of horrible tentacle monster, poured forth from the darkest recesses of mankind's imagination has accosted me!

Re: 1-2/2

[way_of_vengeance]

What am I to do...After all, I am a lone, unarmed, defenseless, completely helpless woman...Why, if anything terrible happened...

[springbreakfhtagn]

Whoa, it's cool, shit. I hate terrible things happening.

1

[xenobiology301]

Yo! Ll'thl, buddy! Gimme twelve!

[Kzth-Tkk undulates a vast multitude of tentacles at its BFF.]

[springbreakfhtagn]

Kzth-Tkk, keepin' it real!

[Complex collision of tentacular flesh.]

Did you ever figure out what the deal is with all those extra head holes these guys have?

[xenobiology301]

[Up high down low through the fourth dimensional field HA too slow.]

Oh yeah, brace yourself for the low-down 'cause this shit is bananas.

You know that big fleshy structure right underneath their eyes? It's, like, basically an atmospheric intake pore? They breathe through, like, three of the face holes and that's it.

1/2

[dolorous_sensei]

Gah! For the name of all that's holy! Where's my gun! There's a...!

Re: 1/2

[dolorous_sensei]

Oh, it's just a horrible tentacled multi-eyed toothy monster or something. I thought there's a rat.

[springbreakfhtagn]

Oh, kickass. It's been a while since someone was cool about that.

1

[ben_dixon]

Hey! What's up, Broseidon!

[springbreakfhtagn]

Not much, Brobocop, I'm just checking out some new beats.

2

[theendis_nyaigh]

Humanity already beat you to the punch, Ll'thl.

[springbreakfhtagn]

At what, getting mad about made-up colors?

2

[streamedastar]

...Orange used to be the name of just the fruit.

Then the color was named after it.

Before it was just called yellow-red, but people are too lazy to stick with that and Carrot sounds like a dumb name for a color, so Orange.

[As someone whose robot is derived from the power of giant gatherings of balls of light, and as a person that spent most of his life cruising the internet, let me lay down some facts about history and science]

[springbreakfhtagn]

Yo, I'm just gonna go with yellow-red, is that cool?

3

[hurt_comforting]

Funny you should say so. Have you ever looked at a clothing catalog?

No, Vermont Country Store, those are both green. I don't care what you say, there is no meaningful distinction between Emerald and Spring Grass.

Spring Grass, seriously.

And that's before we talk about how most languages don't bother to distinguish between blue and green.

[springbreakfhtagn]

Wait, are you messing with me? Blue and green, for real?