NOW APPROACHES THE WRITING BE DESCRIBED AS "TEST RUN"

[keep_your_dignity]

1
[Walking past the offices late at night, you may see a light on. If you follow it, you are treated to a rather amusing sight. It seems that Kagura is filling up paperwork, as it's required of an officer of her ranking. Being an eight foot combat robot, however, the pen looks positively ridiculous in her hand, as if she was trying to write with a tiny toothpick - as does her hunched posture to try to write on the too small for her desk. A closer look reveals a pile of broken pens at the feet of the desk, so perhaps she's having as much trouble as it seems.

Then suddenly she gets up and kicks the solid oak table clean across the room in frustration, then stands there. Even with her lack of face, it's pretty obvious that the robot officer is pretty fed up with whatever bureaucracy she's having to fill out. Also that she hasn't seen you yet, since she tries to not have these outbursts where people can see her.

Want to cheer her up, give her a hand, laugh at her?]

2
[You made a remark on something being cute. Perhaps it was a performance, another teammate, an idol, or even clothing. Whatever it was, the synthesized voice of Kagura pops up]

AND THAT IS GOOD, IS IT. THINGS LIKE CUTE, OR BEAUTIFUL, ARE JUST WHAT PEOPLE CALL THINGS THAT DON'T HAVE ANY ACTUAL, USEFUL QUALITIES.

[Man, Kagura, you are such a downer.]

3
[Fight time!

The fight against mutual enemies has been pretty tough, and you've been about holding out for most of it. Things are starting to turn around, though - it looks like we are regaining the upper hand at last and have some more room to breathe! Surely now it's time for an heroic charge to finish this! What does Kagura say?]

BEGIN AN ORDERLY RETREAT. I REPEAT, WE ARE RETREATING.

[Wait what?]

Comments

1

[mechafacetakewarning]

{Kouichi just sort of stares at the bizarre sight for a moment before he finally says something] ... Maybe you should ask them to scale up your writing tools?

[keep_your_dignity]

[The gigantic body turns towards you. Not actually having a face, it's hard to know what Kagura is thinking at any time]

IT WOULD SEEM OBVIOUS, BUT NO.

[mechafacetakewarning]

Wait, really? [That gives him pause, and startles him out of the absurdity he just witnessed.]

What about a machine that translates motions to a smaller scale? [no need for large paper in that case.]

[keep_your_dignity]

THAT IS WHAT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE.

AS YOU CAN SEE, IT DOES NOT EXACTLY WORK AS ADVERTISED. WELCOME TO LOWEST BIDDER SUPPLIES.

2

[herodrawing]

Ehh?

Ms Kagura, I didn't expect you to have an opinion about this! More importantly, is that really what you believe?

[keep_your_dignity]

I AM NOT STUPID. I JUST DON'T MOUTH OFF ALL THE TIME.

AND YES. IF THE BEST YOU CAN SAY ABOUT SOMETHING IS THAT IT'S CUTE, THAT MEANS IT'S WORTHLESS.

[herodrawing]

I... don't think that's entirely true.

1

[xenobiology301]

[ Whatever reason Kzth had to go slithering through the offices at this hour, it can most definitely empathize. ]

Ok see that's why I keep telling you people to go digital.

[keep_your_dignity]

[Kagura moves in a blur, startled, only stopping a split second before pulling the trigger as she recognizes this particular creature.

You really should warn the veteran hunter of robo-monsters that you're going to poke around, Kzth. She almost shot a tentacle off right now. Though it has to be given to her, less than a second from facing back to weapon dran and aiming is pretty impressive]

MOST ARE. BUT DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES I NEED TO FILL THIS FORM ONCE FOR EACH MAN IN MY UNIT AND MILITARY REGULARIONS HAVE NOT DESIGNED A DIGITAL EQUIVALENT YET.

[xenobiology301]

What, for all your dudes? That's total bullshit. Why don't they just have you chisel it down on stone tablets while they're at it?

2

[abugslife]

[No, Heph wouldn't actually say "cute" in a normal circumstances like that. She's just commenting as a third faction/peanut gallery.]

Hmm? What was that earthling phrase...

Oh yes. Sour grapes?

[keep_your_dignity]

[The large form of Kagura only shifts very slightly, "looking" at Heteheres sideways over its shoulder]

NO

[abugslife]

Are you sure? From all species I know, earthlings in particular seem to be obsessed with the idea of young women being cute. And a large, bulky robot frame does not meet the criteria for many people.

1

[majestic_keiki]

[Kei walks in on the rather bizarre scene. Stopping to look for just a second, the question of whether to actually interrupt hanging in the air.]

[keep_your_dignity]

[Not having noticed her, Kagura simply heads to the back and grabs the desk again, beginning to retrieve the papers from the ground (which is also not the easiest thing for something as huge as her). Annoying or not, this needs to be done.]

[majestic_keiki]

[Kei walks over to help her gather the papers. Basic politeness and all, even people without memories of civilian life understand that. She gave the hulking robot a slight smile as she did so.]

1

[a_monetized_mind]

...Is this a bad time?

[keep_your_dignity]

ONLY AN IRRITATING ONE.

[a_monetized_mind]

Well...I made this for you.

[And Jen fishes out of her jacket...one of those gimmicky Giant Pens. It's mostly a dull grey, though the tip part looks like it's made of a blue crystal.]

It's basically indestructible.

2

[hurt_comforting]

Surely something that's perfectly suited to its purpose is a sort of beautiful.

[keep_your_dignity]

SOME SORT OF PHILOSOPHER, I PRESUME.

[hurt_comforting]

Combat psychologist. Close enough.

I've dealt with plenty of angst about not feeling beautiful... and heard too many people use 'cute' as precisely the sort of put-down you make it out to be.

3

[dolorous_sensei]

I knew it! It's all going to well. Nothing ever goes that well. We're doomed. We're all going to die!

[keep_your_dignity]

NO YOU IMBECILE.

JUST FOLLOW THE PLAN AND STOP THE DRAMA.

[Kagura is standing on the ground, spitting dakka in massive quantities to cover the retreat]

[dolorous_sensei]

No need to comfort us, grunts. Why else would we retreat now? No need to afraid that we're going to panic and start to riotously run away...

If I'm going to die, I'm going to die in dignity...

Too bad that dying is dying. Oh, woe is us...

*Whatever he says, he falls back in an orderly fashion.*