For imperial_saga?

[forceofnature]

1.
[Is that a meteor falling from the sky? ...No not important is that a gigantic human being thousands of feet tall floating in the air? Every crystal in the world switches on simultaneously as the goddess of nature makes her presence known.]

Human scum!

You have ten seconds to convince me why I shouldn't completely destroy your filthy little civilization! For countless years, you've inflicted untold pain and suffering to everything around you - even to each other! War after war after war after stupid war! I'm sick of it! The Crystal King, Palutena... even the King of Hell! They're all way too soft on you!

Oh -- beastmen, you're good. When the world's returned to its natural state, I'll be looking for people who know how to respect the world around them.


2. [Viridi doesn't look terribly happy there.]

H-How dare you speak to a goddess that way! I've existed for thousands of years, and I've never been so insulted! I do not look eight years old! I... I just take good care of my skin.



3. [Well, her image has appeared in your crystal enough times, but this is the first time you've seen her up close and personal.  Viridi's set a date with you in the Crystal World.]

What?  Overwhelmed by my beauty?  Myyyyy ~cuteness~?  I know it's a lot to take in, but go on, take some time to adjust.  Bow at my feet, prostrate yourself, make some burnt offerings...  Do they still do burnt offerings?  Yeah, yeah, goddess of nature, but the strip steak was always just divine.

[Actually she's a little underwhelming.]

Comments

3

[arche]

[Arche looks in awe of you, goddess.]

Wow, you're...

[Wait for it.]

You're really short in person.

1/2

[forceofnature]

It's totally OK; this is probably the most defining moment of your insignifica --

[forceofnature]

WHAT.

[arche]

I mean, are you even taller than me? Hold on a sec.

[Arche floats down to the ground and tries to stand back to back with Viridi]

[forceofnature]

S-Stop that! I modified my size so I wouldn't completely overwhelm your puny little human brain! Talk about gratitude.

[arche]

Well you'd think you'd be able to modify it so you're not so vertically challenged, but different strokes I guess. I'm not complaining.

[Still trying to measure yep yep this is important business.]

[forceofnature]

At least vertically challenged is better than mentally challenged.

[Humph.]

I can't believe Palutena gets Joan of Arc, and I get stuck with you. Where did all the heroes go?

[arche]

Excuse me? I'll have you know you've got a certifiable hero right here whether you want to believe it or not! Besides, I'm a heckova lot cuter than that Joan of Arc girl I'm sure! Honestly, you're making out like a bandit with this deal!

[forceofnature]

Yeah. Maybe I'll even grab a coin before being stomped by that plumber and his pet dinosaur.

Look, if we're gonna work together, we're going to have to set some rules here.

Number one. Don't insult the goddess.

[arche]

What?

[Totes oblivious to that fourth wall there.]

I wasn't insulting you. I was just making an observation.

[forceofnature]

...

Your hair looks like something someone had an allergy attack over while eating strawberry jam.

See? That's an observation, too.

[arche]

Oh, I'm sorry, I can't hear you from way down there.

[forceofnature]

Is this going to be our running gag? Ugh, I've been through this at least twenty times in the last few centuries already.

I want a do-over. Where's the reset button?

[arche]

[Arche puts a hand on her forehead. She doesn't really get the references, but the idea's there at least. She extends that hand.]

Arche Klein. You said you needed a hero. Well, you've got one.

[forceofnature]

[Viridi looks at the hand a bit disdainfully.]

They said I wasn't allowed to 'interfere with mankind's destiny', whatever that means. Everyone knows your destiny is to dig yourselves straight into the underworld.

[She takes it after a sniff.]

Viridi. Goddess of nature. But you already knew that.

I need your help. And maybe you might even prove to me that your people deserve a second chance. ...Sorry, fifty-eighth chance.

1.

[greyerrant]

I am not impressed.

[forceofnature]

I'm not asking you to be impressed. I'm asking you to tell me why I shouldn't reset all of Dagaria back to before you messed it all up!

Seven seconds.