general voice testing, but reserved at towerofanimus...

[caliburnt]

➥ Ｉ．

[ For whatever reason, Saber has a pact with you. Since she's been summoned here, it might be a good idea to talk to her regarding whatever plans there are in store. Yet, she doesn't seem too thrilled with the idea of communicating with anyone, much less her chosen Master. She'll plop down lazily, the heavy armor making more of a thud than her tiny body usually would make, and keep her gaze level with the floor. Her sword isn't with her today; a good sign usually, but it may have been used earlier in the day. Regardless, there's surely something for a Master and Servant to discuss... right? ]

➥ ＩＩ．

Mm. [ Was that a noise to show content? ] This meal is halfway decent.

[ No matter if she's in a restaurant or the dining room of an ally, Saber's comment still stands. That's honestly the best compliment she'll ever give. With a handful of whatever is being served, she'll eye the chef carefully. ]

You can do better. [ Munch. ] Much better. Ensure that the next meal is anything but a waste of my time or else.

➥ ＩＩＩ．

[ It's the obligatory 'we are in a fight and you are more than likely losing' scenario. There always has to be one of these and Saber's much more impressive than one might think. With blackened armor that covers her from jaw to toe and trails of prana leaking out along the ground, she's quite the formidable foe. Whatever her fight, whether it's to defend the righteous or to destroy it, she hardly seems as though she'll back down. Armed with her trusted blade, she waits with a minimal amount of patience for the next attack. ]

➥ ＩＶ．

[ While one might think a king from the twelfth century would face great difficulty settling in a modern setting, Saber seems to be doing just alright. In this world, she can be found doing a number of various tasks: riding a motorcycle, secretly fawning over a cute plushie on display in the mall, working at a maid cafe (what, it pays the bills), or walking around at the local zoo. Now is as good as a time as any to approach her! ]

Comments

[emptysword]

...Arturia...

[/sigh of exasperation goes here.]

[caliburnt]

Strange, that expression has worked on so many before you...

[ Why won't the power of pop culture her words compel him!? ]

[emptysword]

Unfortunately, I'm already used to you giving me that look.

[Says the one firing up the grill for another hamburger.]

[caliburnt]

[ Yay burgers. ]

Does this mean I must find another manner in which to get what I want?

[emptysword]

...For the sake of my food stock, I'd have to say no.

[caliburnt]

You will have me starve then?

[ Because that's the only alternative in her mind. ]

[emptysword]

N-no!

I was thinking that you should eat healthier, actually.

[caliburnt]

[ ]

I have nothing more to say to you, Shirou. Rid yourself from my presence.

[emptysword]

It was a joke.

[Here, have a burger being shoved into your hands.]

BAD END...

[caliburnt]

[ Too late. Saber Alter doesn't know a joke when she sees it. In fact, she's just going to reach into his chest nonchalantly and withdraw her Noble Phantasm. ]

I shall be taking this back as well. [ Bitch. ] And this as well.

[ And with the other, she'll take that burger to bite into. ]

[caliburnt]

[ Nothing like a burger to calm the tits of a Saber Alter. She's munching slowly on it, eying him all the while, daring him to speak to ruin such a beautiful moment between king and meat. ]

[emptysword]

[And he's going to just keep quiet because he actually knows what to do by this time.]