Daily Lives of Gunslinging Cyborgs

[lostamigo]

1. [Daniel is a mercenary. He takes jobs for a living. He doesn't do anything morally objectionable, but silly or strange tasks are a different matter entirely. Even if they make him blink an eye. Figuratively speaking.]

You want me to do... what, exactly?

2. [Shooting range. The very tall cyborg is focused, his hand hovering over his holstered gun while the other one is about to press the near console's GO button and start the course... But suddenly, his head turns towards you.]

Do you want to practice with me?

[There's something suspicious about this course. The targets aren't even visible yet.]

3. [Everyone needs to relax after a day of hard work. Daniel sits down in a comfy chair (which creaks in protest, considering how big and heavy he is), opens a bag of potato chips (how is he going to eat them?) and turns on the TV. What appears on the screen is a cheesy, ancient black and white western - one of those where the protagonist and villain actually wear white and black hats respectively. Only after a moment Daniel notices your presence.]

...What?

Comments

3

[yassaimossai]

This is the kind of show big mercenary robot guys watch after work?

[lostamigo]

It's a classic. What's wrong with classic cinema?

[yassaimossai]

Is it really that interesting? It looks super old.

3)

[sang_av_helten]

What indeed? Cannot I simply choose to entertain myself alongside a fellow warrior?

[Kitty huff of pride as he settles on the armrest of the creaking chair.]

[lostamigo]

Both of those. It wouldn't be a classic if it wasn't.

I watch newer stuff too.

[lostamigo]

...You can talk.

[sang_av_helten]

[Skald promptly gives Daniel the flattest look his face can muster.]

Meow.

Yes. I can talk. Is it truly that hard to believe?

[yassaimossai]

Hmm...

[Chris is going to stare at the scene for a while with a sceptical expression on her face.

Is the movie really fun? She has her doubts. Not to mention, she wants to see how will Daniel try to eat all that stuff he brought.]

[lostamigo]

[The screen shows a bunch of bandits holed out in their hideout... But suddenly the protagonist jumps out from the shadows and throws a stick of dynamite at them, blowing a few up in a big explosion!
But what's this? The bandit leader gestures and the wall behind him crumbles, showing that he kidnapped all the people in the town! And the rest of his gang are now aiming their guns at them - the civilians are at their mercy! Suddenly it became a really tense standoff...]

[lostamigo]

None of the other cats spoke. In human languages, at least. They made cat sounds as expected. Often when hungry.

...Are you hungry?

[yassaimossai]

Taking hostages? You assholes call yourselves human beings?!

[Looks like someone's yelling at the TV now.]

[lostamigo]

Relax, it's a movie. They can't hear you.

[Look Zenbu, you're being lectured like a child. Also Daniel's bowl of chips is noticably emptier now. Somehow that happened while you were distracted.]

[yassaimossai]

I know that! Sheesh, who do you take me for? Is responding to dramatic moments against the law now or something...

[Chris stares at the bowl. Blink, blink.]

How did you do that?!

[totallyhonest]

Did you listen at all? Geez.

Anyway partner, I won't repeat everything again. I'll just tell you your part of it. Just go to the fountain in the town center and dance on top of it. Just that. I'll take care of the rest.

If this succeed, we'll both be rich! Rich!

[lostamigo]

The same way everyone does. I'm not a robot, I'm a cyborg.

[He manually pulls the lower part of his visor down, throws a few chips inside, then closes it. Something white glints briefly in the darkness. Are those teeth...?]

[lostamigo]

...I'm not a very good dancer. You should know this.

[totallyhonest]

That is the point! Don't you get it?

Anyway, as discussed before, I can't pay you now, but I'll give you the percentage of the profit. 80-20.

1

[pulledplug]

Are you really-

[He presses pamphlet at Daniel again. God it was hard enough to summon up the courage to ask mask dude in the first place, and now he's gotta do it again.]

I've got to fix the the janitor closet's sink and the freakin' repair manual doesn't have pictures to go with it! So just... read through the instructions for me!

[yassaimossai]

Geh!

[Too disturbing to look in closely.]

Warn people before you do that.

[lostamigo]

...Alright.

[Daniel looks at the manual. Doesn't look complex at all.]

Are you sure you need my help with this? I'm not complaining about money, but I don't see how this is a two-man job.

[lostamigo]

20 percent. The total better be worth it.

[Daniel lets out a strange robotic sound that may or may not be a sigh. Soon afterwards, he can be seen dancing on top of the town's fountain. Awkwardly. Kinda like this. But the fact that he managed to get up there is kinda amazing.]

[lostamigo]

...Sorry. I keep forgetting.

[Awkward silence.]

[yassaimossai]

Eh? What's with that reaction?

[Drawn by a sudden sound coming from the TV, Chris glances at the screen - where all the bad guys were already defeated!]

What the hell! Look what you've done now! We missed all the best parts!

How did he do that, I want to know!

[lostamigo]

Indians.

[Completely stoic, straight tone.]

They appeared to help the hero in a pinch. And ridden off into the prairie as soon as they were done.

[yassaimossai]

Really?!

That can't be right, are you kidding me? And I missed it all!