Daily Lives of Gunslinging Cyborgs

[lostamigo]

1. [Daniel is a mercenary. He takes jobs for a living. He doesn't do anything morally objectionable, but silly or strange tasks are a different matter entirely. Even if they make him blink an eye. Figuratively speaking.]

You want me to do... what, exactly?

2. [Shooting range. The very tall cyborg is focused, his hand hovering over his holstered gun while the other one is about to press the near console's GO button and start the course... But suddenly, his head turns towards you.]

Do you want to practice with me?

[There's something suspicious about this course. The targets aren't even visible yet.]

3. [Everyone needs to relax after a day of hard work. Daniel sits down in a comfy chair (which creaks in protest, considering how big and heavy he is), opens a bag of potato chips (how is he going to eat them?) and turns on the TV. What appears on the screen is a cheesy, ancient black and white western - one of those where the protagonist and villain actually wear white and black hats respectively. Only after a moment Daniel notices your presence.]

...What?

Comments

3

[yassaimossai]

This is the kind of show big mercenary robot guys watch after work?

[lostamigo]

It's a classic. What's wrong with classic cinema?

[yassaimossai]

Is it really that interesting? It looks super old.

[lostamigo]

Both of those. It wouldn't be a classic if it wasn't.

I watch newer stuff too.

[yassaimossai]

Hmm...

[Chris is going to stare at the scene for a while with a sceptical expression on her face.

Is the movie really fun? She has her doubts. Not to mention, she wants to see how will Daniel try to eat all that stuff he brought.]

3)

[sang_av_helten]

What indeed? Cannot I simply choose to entertain myself alongside a fellow warrior?

[Kitty huff of pride as he settles on the armrest of the creaking chair.]

[lostamigo]

...You can talk.

[sang_av_helten]

[Skald promptly gives Daniel the flattest look his face can muster.]

Meow.

Yes. I can talk. Is it truly that hard to believe?

[lostamigo]

None of the other cats spoke. In human languages, at least. They made cat sounds as expected. Often when hungry.

...Are you hungry?

[totallyhonest]

Did you listen at all? Geez.

Anyway partner, I won't repeat everything again. I'll just tell you your part of it. Just go to the fountain in the town center and dance on top of it. Just that. I'll take care of the rest.

If this succeed, we'll both be rich! Rich!

[lostamigo]

...I'm not a very good dancer. You should know this.

[totallyhonest]

That is the point! Don't you get it?

Anyway, as discussed before, I can't pay you now, but I'll give you the percentage of the profit. 80-20.

[lostamigo]

20 percent. The total better be worth it.

[Daniel lets out a strange robotic sound that may or may not be a sigh. Soon afterwards, he can be seen dancing on top of the town's fountain. Awkwardly. Kinda like this. But the fact that he managed to get up there is kinda amazing.]

[totallyhonest]

A couple of guys with riot armor-looking gear and coat and strange goggled gasmask came. Their goggles glint red.

"There are no heat signature from you. You are a robot. But you dare to dance on the sacred fountain of Ut'Gah. Are you the phropecied messiah?"

1

[pulledplug]

Are you really-

[He presses pamphlet at Daniel again. God it was hard enough to summon up the courage to ask mask dude in the first place, and now he's gotta do it again.]

I've got to fix the the janitor closet's sink and the freakin' repair manual doesn't have pictures to go with it! So just... read through the instructions for me!

[lostamigo]

...Alright.

[Daniel looks at the manual. Doesn't look complex at all.]

Are you sure you need my help with this? I'm not complaining about money, but I don't see how this is a two-man job.

2

[dashvectoring]

Sure. It's not really my thing, but I could use some practice.

[Maria eyes the cyborg's stance for a while, before picking up her weapon and releasing the safety.]

Huh?

[But then she wonders why there are no targets when she looks ahead...]

[lostamigo]

Alright. Here we go.

[Daniel presses the button. Suddenly, holes all over the target side of the range keep opening and closing - and out of them pop out (hopefully) fake rats, just for a quarter of a second, and then jump back in! Some of them are carrying tiny guns. The pacing of the whole thing is a bit ridiculous, but Daniel keeps cold blood and already shot a few of them like it was nothing.]

[dashvectoring]

This is way too quick...!

[She tries to keep up by firing her own gun, but only manages to get one in that time.]

Gross! I can't even tell if those are real!

[lostamigo]

They're not. It's just target practice.

[Daniel takes a second to reload.]

Watch out. You just shot a civilian.

[dashvectoring]

How can you even tell?!

[Bang, bang, bang.]

Agh...I only see rats!

1

[a_monetized_mind]

I want you to come with me to hire some terrorists, so we can fight the other terrorists.

It's pretty straightforward.

[lostamigo]

And you're sure this won't go horribly wrong?

[a_monetized_mind]

It'll be fiiiiiine. The Nu Metal Objectivists are assholes, but they really like flashy cyborg enhancements. If you just stand there all stoically and act like you're my boss, we'll get through just fine.

Besides, you're pretty good in a fight, aren't you?

[lostamigo]

You can't hire them if they're dead, you know.

...Okay. I can work with those odds. Let's do this. But if you want me to say something specific, tell me now.