More SRWU! Yes, she says all those things with this face

[abugslife]

1. [Hetepheres encounters some sign of human culture as she passes by. It might be music, a movie, art, a game, even an unusual building - doesn't matter. It also doesn't matter if it's something very snobby and high-brow, or low-brow and plebian - her reaction is the same! As for you, either you're passing by as well, or are actively engaged with the thing in question.]

Ah, how interesting. I see that the advancements of Earthling culture continue to amaze.

2. [Now she's watching some people at work. Construction workers building something, engineers working on mecha in the hangar, something else - your pick. And now she turns to you.]

If I may ask - are those free laborers? Did Earth abolish the institution of slavery yet?

3. [Late evening kitchen raid! The huge bug-alien is consuming a pile of biscuits with... sugar and mayo. What. Only now she noticed you. Staring, probably.]

Hmm? May I help you...?

4. [A mecha fight! Or rather, the aftermath of one. It was a flawless victory, not one of those Generic Bad Ends!]

An amazing victory! Everyone, engrave this battle in your minds and cherish it, for it is something to be proud of. As for now...

[Well, mostly flawless. Hetepheres' machine is lying on its back, struggling to get up. Have you ever seen a beetle in the same situation? It's kinda like that, only with desperate attempts to keep her dignity added.]

...A little help, if you don't mind?

Comments

4

[zenbuzenbuzenbu]

Our giant bug alien has fallen and can't get up?

Are you serious?

[abugslife]

This is a minor flaw in Scaraber's design.

I could get up on my own... Eventually.

[zenbuzenbuzenbu]

I'm not going to stand around and laugh at you.

[As tempting as it may be.]

But how the hell am I supposed to help you?!

[Chris gives the Scaraber a push. But she's just one girl, and not a superhumanly strong one. The effect is minimal.]

[abugslife]

Try using this as a lever.

[Mecha-sized laser staff, get.]

Judging by the size of guns you use on a routine basis, you should be able to at least carry it.

2

[caressthedarkness]

[What an unexpected question.]

Umm...as far as I know, they should be...

Does it look that way to you...?

[abugslife]

Last time my people visited Earth, it was common to use slave labour for menial tasks.

Of course that was thousands of years ago, which is why I'm asking for a status update.

[caressthedarkness]

From what I've heard, they work on their own free will...

I don't know if this applies everywhere though.

2

[actuallyselfish]

Dido, one of those 'free laborers', looks up from her sandwich and thermos of soup and glares.

"Hey!" She shouts. "Don't you go calling us slaves! We've got unions and lunch breaks and everything!"

Re: 2

[abugslife]

Technically so did slaves back in the day. Although to my knowledge, their lunch consisted primarily of bread, vegetables and beer mixed together into a liquid.

...A bit like whatever that thermos is holding.

Re: 2

[actuallyselfish]

Dido has a lot of questions to ask in the wake of that reply, but the first is:

"So wait: slaves back in ancient times had labor unions?"

4

[way_of_vengeance]

Ooooohh? Could it be that our proud alien visitor requires some assistance in a time of need? How unfortunate! Why, whatever shall she do...

[abugslife]

This is just a minor inconvenience. I can take care of it myself... Given time.

Why are helpful mecha so hard to find on Earth in the aftermath of a mecha battle?

[way_of_vengeance]

Well, we did kill or seriously injure quite a few people today...

...perhaps it is judgement from god for your conduct in that battle?

1

[stupiddisciple]

Really?

[Above lies a promo for a new hit anime series: MIDDLESCHOOL OF THE DAMNED, a show that it's not really clear what it's about but a lot of breasts and not a lot of fabric is involved.]

...I'd rather not see where they started, then.

[abugslife]

Not all amazements are of the positive kind.

And what creates culture is not just the high and elite, but also the everyday and common.

[stupiddisciple]

You'll have to forgive me for preferring the former, then.

What sort of art is your world home to? Surely it must be better than this.

3)

[mistaken_for_monster]

... Kind of light isn't it?

[Volya seems to be carrying his own snacks... those being several onions, pickles, sweet cream and... a durian? Who the hell keeps a durian in the damn fridge? The smell alone would stink up the entire thing and then some?! You'd have to be an insane one eyed german with intense PTSD to even think that was a good idea... that or someone from a country with Durians, but whatever the case...]

[Then again considering this kid had to learn to eat things a goat would hurl up in order to survive... having a weird sense of taste after finally being able to appreciate the comforts of civilization wouldn't be too unexpected.]

[abugslife]

Of course. Being light is the whole point; a soldier has to stay in good shape, and eating a three-course meal four times a day is detrimental to that.

Technically, at least. Some do it regardless.

[mistaken_for_monster]

... Yeah well... I kinda figured since you're bigger you'd need to eat more is all.

[Volya's going to get to work on eating those-... okay seriously. All of that should taste horrid. How can he even eat all of it without retching even once? He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand after a few bites.]

Do you still need that Mayonnaise?

4

[gentlecode_scholar]

Good heavens, but this brings back some memories. [The air stirs as the draconic kaiju-like shape of Victoria, Erik's massive biotitan, lands near Scaraber]

This is why the Decaliash biotitans have been going out of fashion, you realize. Such power, but their frame had too many flaws that could be exploited by one with the tactical acumen!

Thankfully, this uncanny contraption of yours is far smaller and lighter, so your conundrum is, indeed, easily solved.

[And with that, the enormous claws grab Scaraber and lift it like a doll, before putting it back on the ground on its feet and patting it]

I apologize for any scratching. My dear Victoria was not quite designed for manual labor. Her frame is rather more suited for, what is the word, unfeasibly bloody mutilation.

[abugslife]

Don't think Scaraber is also an outdated machine. This is its only flaw, and one that's not exploited easily.

[Unamused by patting.]

I suppose I should offer my thanks. Don't worry about scratches, they're meaningless. Scaraber's armor is tough; from all Gebian mecha, it is among the strongest.

[gentlecode_scholar]

Oh, you misunderstand me. They are not outdated as such. Why, I know of several countries that still run smaller breeds as line units. Merely... out of fashion.

If a scion of a House must go out, it is unseemly to do so while struggling to get back up, you understand. Rather undignified and all that. One must project the proper image in death as in life, after all.

[1]

[thebigcooplowski]

"What, you tellin' me your planet doesn't even have video games?"

Coop is pretty in-the-zone with this fighting game at the moment. High punch, high punch, high punch, low kick!

"You at least have TV though, right?"

He's honestly a bit afraid of what the answer may be.

[abugslife]

It depends on how do you define TV. While we do have public long-distance programmes, I doubt their form would be very interesting for an Earthling.

[thebigcooplowski]

"I'm talking about entertainment! Like cartoons. Or wrestling. You know, cool stuff to watch? You guys do SOMETHING for fun, don't ya?"