testrun_box | General Testrun

General Testrun

[Hello important person who just did an important thing.]

Clark Kent, Daily Planet. Mind if I ask a few questions?

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[The scene: the aftermath of a huge battle between none other than Superman himself and some kind of giant spider robot. The property damage was immense, but in the end Superman was victorious and the day was saved!]

Then a minute later, Clark came puffing up.]

Whew...Sorry, got lost in the confusion back there. I didn't miss too much, did I?

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[Just as you, being the villainous sort, were crowing your victory to the world, this guy showed up, hovering in the sky above you like gravity was no more than a local parking regulation.]

Maybe you should consider a new career choice.

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[A citizen in danger! Just before the meteor hits/you lost your grip on the ledge/the flood wiped away you house, Superman descends from the sky to whisk you away to safety!

What now? Effusive thanks? Did you have it under control already?]

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[Well it was easy to find Joker, just follow the bouncing, smilex-spewing ball!

The Clown Prince of crime was as usual right in the middle of the mess, a goldfish bowl style helmet over his head to block out his own toxins as he gave himself quite the generous five finger discounts. He really hate to repeat tricks, but he really needed the... oh poo]

I suppose mumsey always did want me to be a charter accountant...

[He trails off before bursting into a mocking laugh]

But what other field is there to utilize my particular talents?

[Where's Batman when you need him? HE'S the one who's supposed to be dealing with this clown.]

I don't suppose there's any chance you'll come along quietly this time?

[Well ask Batsyboy yourself, Captain Underpants!]

Nope! You'll have to catch me just like eeeeverybody else.

[And Joker starts by shoving his shopping cart into the erratic traffic and bolts off into the alleys*

I was afraid of that.

[Unfortunately, Superman is VERY fast. Joker rounds a corner only to find him already there, still hovering a few few above the ground.]

I can do this all night.

[He literally skidded to a halt as Superman waits for him]

Really? Not even a bit of flair in your ambush?

[Acid won't work on this dunderhead, but hey - Joker put on an exaggerated Dick Van Dyke-style Cockney just for the hell of it]

Well I suppose it's a fair cop, guv.

[He moves as if to adjust the lapels of his jacket, though if Superman as at all familiar with Batman's nemesis - and he should - he should have an idea that Joker is reaching to use his booby-trapped flower]

[Superman pauses thoughtfully. If Batman has so much trouble with this guy, he can't be THIS easy to catch. But...he's just standing there. What's the danger?]

...Okay, if you promise to go peacefully.

[Superman isn't as smart as the world's greatest detective, okay?]

[Well there's one born every minute, even among the tights club]

I suppose I have little choice but -

[Suddenly he squeezes something in his lapels and a big clout of noxious looking green gas spews towards Superman's face. Giggling like the lunatic he is, he blows a raspberry]

Refuse! Sorry, ol' boy, I'm not through!

[And off he goes before Superman recovers]

[Dammit.

Superman coughs and even snickers a bit, but kryptonian biology renders him largely unaffected by the gas. Effected enough, though, that the Joker had time to break line of sight.]

You know you can't run from me, Joker!

*Rita Mordio, one of the world's better known Magitech Researchers, is Superman's latest opponent. With a giant spider robot. To be fair, this one isn't in Metropolis proper and isn't THAT giant - about the size of a house. Also rather unusually for Superman's rogues gallery, she's actually been very careful and precise in her scheme to steal specific research from this particular Lexcorp Lab. No security stepped on, surprisingly minimal damage, and relatively little maniacal laughter over her success.

As he comes into view, the robot turns its head in his direction, firing a couple electrical beams in his direction loosely as a loudspeaker turned on - presumably on accident.*

Oh, great. Here's the part where the Boy In Blue shows up. Hold on, lemme get my script out.

*The audible shuffling of papers precedes the most bored-sounding villainous rant Superman has heard in years.*

A ha ha ha, a ha ha ha ha. Why'd he write that in? My glorious plan has already come to fruition, blah blah blah, you're too late, et cetera et cetera...

... Wait, why does this script have me going over my entire scheme?

[Superman swooshes out of the way of the first two beams, then gets blasted by the third. It knocks him back a bit, but didn't really seem to do much damage.]

You tell me -hrk- didn't you write it?

Please, you think I'd write crap like this?

I don't even know why my boss - and no I'm not saying who he is, other than that it should be freaking obvious it's not Lex Luthor or The Joker - insisted on writing it. Didn't even tell me to use it, just...

Why am I going on like this, anyhow? I do need to get out of here before Lex shows up with one of his stupid robot suits.

*A couple more shots precede the spider starting to run backwards, still facing Superman and keeping the shots coming - more to try and make him put SOME effort into evading rather than just charging in fast enough to one-shot the darn thing.*

[Ellie mentally cursed herself when her grip on the building's ledge slipped, eyes screwed shut as she prepared herself for the inevitable splatter as she hit the ground. God, whatever the hell happened in this city happened so fast, everything had been chaos and she had just been trying to move from building to building, and stupid her overestimated her jumping abilities...

... but the painful landing never came. instead, she landed straight in someone's arms. One of her eyes peeked open and...]

Holy shit. Holy shit! [The panic is making her incoherent, and she squirms in his arms desperately the minute they're close enough to the ground.] Let me down!!

Okay okay.

[That's gratitude for you. He hates the squirmy ones. Ellie is deposited neatly on the ground.]

What were you doing up there? It's dangerous jumping around like that!

[Today seemed like a day for giant spider robots. This one had appeared from an underground facility when--]

Hey! Hey, you, yeah, you, the guy writing this!

[What?]

Yeah, listen, nobody wants to read a bunch of boring set-up crap, alright? We got things to do here, so make with the action already!

[But--]

Seriously, shut up, nobody even cares!

[Fine....

The giant spider robot fired another volley of missiles, forcing Deadpool to steer his hijacked ice cream truck through oncoming traffic and make a sweet jump off a conveniently placed ramp or something.]

Yeah, that's more like it! Now, where was I? Oh, right!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[Oh no! That ice cream truck is in danger! In the middle of Deadpool's totally sweet jump, the trajectory of the truck suddenly shifted. It almost felt like someone underneath the van was carrying it through the air. Which was ridiculous.

Anyways, the van now looked like it was going to land safely on a bit of unused highway rather than fly through that fireball and shattered glass factory.]

You okay in there?

[Really, I don't know why you put up with that clown, Other Narrator. You need to be make sure they know who's in charge. Be FIRM with them.]

[There's a shudder and a bump when the ice cream truck changes directions, and Deadpool sits there for a moment, eyes slowly widening.]

Oh my god... flying ice cream truck! Whoo hooo!

[And he grabs the wheel, cheerfully steering his new Best Mode of Transportation Ever through the air. There's even a brief shot, in his mind at least, of him driving past the full moon in it.]

Best! Day! Ever!

[And then the truck lands and some joker asks if he's okay.] Yeah, I'm good! Just let me get my flying ice cream truck back in the air and-- [and then he sticks his head out the window, comes face to face with that big S logo and looks up to see who he's talking to. Blinks.] Eeeeeeeeeeeee--!

[And then he's ducking back inside and tapping out a quick Facebook update on his smartphone.]

"About to do team-up with freaking Superman! Suck it, Logan!"

[It's better this way, Original Narrator. He'll tire himself out eventually.]

[A stolen nuclear warhead. A targeted city in a foreign nation. Some tactically placed misinformation to blame another superpower for the entire mess. It's an instant recipe to create a world war. In the end, it doesn't matter who launched the missile in the first place. That's irrelevant. With tensions between two powder keg countries the way they are, that is inevitable. Fingers will be pointed regardless.

The Major sits in a comfortable seat just inside his Kasnian command center. A camera manned by a bespectacled doctor continues recording regardless of Superman smashing his way through the defenses like paper. The Major only laughs.]

This is the only path to life that I know of, ubermensch. However, it must be known...

[He stands and thrusts his arm shaped into a fascist salute into the air as a show to the world leaders watching.]

You are right where you should be. And I am right where I am meant to be. You would hinder the glory of the fatherland while I have long since been prepared to surrender my life, blood, and soul for it. We are both prepared to eradicate those we recognize as enemies.

[The soldiers in the room aim their guns at Superman with most futility.]

[Superman glares at the soldiers arrayed before him with such intensity their guns dissolve into piles of molten metal.

Look. He's had a LONG DAY at this point.]

Your half-right, I'm exactly where I'm meant to be, between madmen like you and millions of innocent lives. YOU belong in a straight jacket!

[The soldiers yell and throw down their arms. Their fearless leader gives a little smirk and clasps his hands together behind his back.]

No. I rather consider myself a sane man. For I believe what I am doing is...

[A yellow eye motions away from Superman and to Dok manning the camera. He gives a wink. Dok, nodding, motions for his coat pocket and reveals a remote. With a press of a button, the camera bursts into flames, cutting the feed.]

... is evil unquestionably. But I couldn't very well say that in front of all the eyes watching in the world, could I?

[The Major starts clapping.]

Welcome, Superman! Welcome! We have been anticipating your arrival.

We don't have time for your moralizing and your speeches, Major. Cancel the launch now, before you drag the whole world into another war!

[He honestly doesn't expect him to agree just like that, but he has to try.]

That is absolutely my goal. And yet, it is not.

[The Major toys with the medals he has hanging on the front of his coat.]

This has been a long year for me, you know. Infiltrating the Kasnian military was simple enough. They're so eager for new toys that the entire government may as well be run by children.

[Their surroundings all in all were state of the art, but reminiscent of a certain unsavory period in history.]

I waited through sleepless nights and agonizing days for a chance to acquire the bomb that is making everyone wet themselves. Or as I prefer to call it "bait". Ubermensch.

[He leans forward and extends an arm.]

It is you! It is you I wish to wage war on!

Edited 2013-07-09 03:03 (UTC)

Well congratulations. You wanted a war with Superman? You got one!

[With that, Superman flashed across the distance between them, his fist raised and ready to punch the Major's lights out!]

[Danny is a bit out of breath himself. See, Danny Phantom intended to take down the big monster of the day by himself, but someone else already had it in hand, so he just focused on helping out bystanders who might be in the path of danger.

Clark isn't the only one just now showing up on the scene.]

Oh, uh. [As soon as he spots Clark he shoots up straighter than a rod.] Nope! No, nothing to miss here.

Really? Sure looks like it was busy around here.

Oh! [He looks behind him. ....Yeah, that sure is a destroyed city street.] Well, uh. I-I meant aside from that!

[Darkwing Duck always has times for the eager members of the press... long as they're not from shoddy supermarket tabloid. He just finished tying up some bank robbers that underestimated the Avian Avenger]

Certainly Citizen, I always have time to answer questions.

Thank you.

[Voice recorder is whipped out.]

They say that you're the one behind stopping the Holly Heights bank robbery. Is that true?

That is correct, not the most dangerous batch of criminals I'd ever faced, but nonetheless I went and captured these miscreants.

[This duck sounds like a rerun of the Gray Ghost]

And how do you respond to allegations that the total repair costs will be to the area will be more than the amount stolen from the bank in the first place?

[Really, Clark? YOU of all people are pressing someone about excessive property damage?]

[Mr. Wayne here has just donated sixty million dollars towards the construction of a new hospital in Metropolis which will of course be named after him, but there's probably something more private to talk about after the interview.]

Like I said, Clark--can I call you Clark?--this kind of project is exactly what the Thomas and Martha Wayne Foundation is for.

And it's a very admirable foundation for sure. Is this all we'll be seeing of you in Metropolis for now, or can we expect to hear about one of the famous Bruce Wayne Parties in the front of the lifestyle section tomorrow? Or is the news of those abductions making you nervous about staying?

[OBVIOUSLY it isn't, but they've got to keep up appearances.]

Oh, I think I'll have time to sample the Metropolis night life. I assume the local authorities will have a lead on whoever's behind that ghastly affair soon enough.

[After he provides said lead, he means.]

[No, technically speaking, Batman hadn't had anything in mind about how to save everyone on the crashing plane while inside it himself. He probably would have had time to work something out. Besides, gratitude is best gently implied. When Superman sets them down and they get the civilians out, Batman walks straight past him.]

Bizarro was heading southwest. Make sure he doesn't cause any other "accidents." I'm going after Mxyzptlk.

[Yup, that's Batman.]

You're going after Mxyzptlk? I figured Bizarro made more sense for you.

Someone told Bizarro that Superman and Batman are friends. This plane went down because he was trying to hug me.

[So, you know. He's gonna let you field that one, Kent.]

That sounds like him, but you're the one who can carry kryptonite with you.

If we use kryptonite, your magical friend intervenes and gets rid of it. I'd rather go straight to the source and make him clean up, but you have to keep Bizarro busy.

[With that, Batman pulls out his grapple gun and latches onto a nearby high-up structure that we don't actually see.]

If that makes enough sense for you.

[After getting the last word comfortably in, he swooshes off.]

[Your newly assigned camera-man part-timer raises an eyebrow in suspicion of Clark, before motioning to the wreckage of the spider-robot.]

I was able to get some good shots of the before and after, but during was somewhat sketchy because I couldn't get a safe angle.

[Well this was certainly a change of pace. Usually it was HE who was asking the questions! What a privilage to be on the other end of things. Adjusting his tie and turning a bit red in the cheeks, the Lieutenant clears his throat and turns to face Mister Kent.]

Well uhh.. *AHEM* Of course, sir uhh.. Just let me.. Let me get myself situated. Okay, now uh- What was it you wanted to ask me?

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General Testrun

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3/Crack AUs Ahoy

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I'm not sorry at all!

I can't imagine why you WOULD be.

I wouldn't be. At all.

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4...ish? You can't tell me what to do

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